


Rise of Wanheda

by jabbrwocky



Series: A New Age [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angry Clarke, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Clarke has a kid, Dark Clarke, Drama, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jealous Clarke Griffin, Jealous Lexa (The 100), Mental Health Issues, No Alie or Praimfaya, Past Loves, Politics, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Three Years Later, War, bellamy and clarke are real close, depressed Lexa, raven and clarke are best friends, takes awhile for forgiveness, wanheda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:20:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 35,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28498203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jabbrwocky/pseuds/jabbrwocky
Summary: Clarke had moved on. She was done. Three years had passed and she was no longer Wanheda the Mountain Slayer, she no longer commanded or led  anything. She had a better life now, a life that she was naive to think that she could keep. Now, with an upcoming war, her “perfect” life is torn away from her, and she must now work with the one who betrayed her, the reason she is burdened with her title, the one who broke her heart. Clarke learns that she cannot leave her past, that she must embrace Wanheda for the sake of all that she knows and love. But will her being thrown back into the world she escape from, reclaiming her title as Wanheda, be for the good of all? Or will it be there doom.
Relationships: Abby Griffin/Marcus Kane, Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin, Bellamy/?, Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Octavia Blake/Lincoln, Raven/Original Character(s)
Series: A New Age [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2087535
Comments: 78
Kudos: 143





	1. All Good Things Must Come to an End

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys so this is my first story, it’s a little rough but it’s an idea I’ve been sitting on for awhile and I really wanted to write it. Before we begin though I wanted to let you guys know a couple of things
> 
> 1\. This actually has a plot, it’s not just a Clexa fanfic
> 
> 3\. I skipped 2
> 
> 3\. Clarke isn’t just going to forgive Lexa, like would you guys just forgive someone who left you to die? I thought not. But yeah, forgiveness takes time but we’ll get there
> 
> 4\. Words that are italicized are in trigedasleng or other grounder languages. (I’m too lazy to actually write it)
> 
> 5\. There will be flashbacks, from what happened in the three years Clarke has been gone from perspectives including but not limited to Clarke, and also some flashbacks that go farther back than three years.
> 
> 6\. There will be some deaths, not gonna break you guys’ hearts or anything and there will be a trauma warning in the notes of that chapter so you guys should be good.
> 
> 7\. If these characters sound a little different, remember it’s been three years, none of them are kids anymore. Also remember I’m not Kass Morgan or the writers of the show
> 
> 8\. Trauma will be displayed in this fic, because let’s not kid ourselves and say that these characters are not traumatized. Self harm will be mentioned and shown but not graphically.. Trauma warnings will also be in the notes of those chapters.
> 
> 9\. Clarke has been with other people in these three years. Clarke and Lexa are endgame but Clarke in the story is gonna try to push that off for as long as she can. Or till it’s too late... heh jk...
> 
> 10\. Okay, I’m done. Tell me what you guys think!

If there was one thing Clarke loved about Earth was that even though she had been here for years now, it still seemed so new, and maybe even magical. It was an artist’s heaven. There were so many things to draw, so many things to see because beauty in its natural state surrounded her. 

And while she drew every beautiful or intriguing thing she saw, she was content. 

Well, content enough.

Right now she wasn’t content at all though, because as she sat by the river, drawing the flowers that grew near it, she realized that in the tree line behind her, someone was watching her.

She had been watched and stalked enough to know when someone was in her midst. After all, she was Wanheda. Not a title to brag about but a title that guaranteed Clarke unwanted attention.

Clarke knew that whoever was watching knew that she was Wanheda. She wasn’t certain but was pretty sure.

After all, why hadn’t they engaged? 

They were being careful. Because she was the Commander of Death. She nervously fiddled with her father’s watch. She now kept it on a leather string around her neck because she knew if she wore it on her wrist then people would be quicker to recognize her. But now it seems, someone did just fine in recognizing the blonde.

She didn’t know how they knew, she kept her well-known blonde locks under her hood and hadn’t done anything to grab attention, but they knew.

Then Clarke when she realized what she had done wrong, why her stalker knew who she was.

She was deep in Trikru lands. 

Clarke cursed herself silently for being so ignorant. For venturing out this close to the scouts she knew were always watching. 

Maybe that's who this was, a scout, or even an assassin.

Clarke wasn’t certain why she was still being searched for but she didn’t necessarily want to find out. Especially if that made her end up with her head removed from her shoulders.

Clarke began to think what she would do here.

She decided it wasn’t an assassin because she had been sitting here for over an hour and they still hadn’t engaged.

So it was a scout.

A scout that she could not let walk away with the information of her whereabouts. That was too risky and dangerous. Especially because of who that information would get back to. 

Clarke decided she would lead this scout to nowhere.

Let them follow her and then she would trap them, interrogate them, and then after that she didn’t know.

Her survival instincts told her she should kill the scout. She shouldn’t and couldn’t risk it. She wouldn’t be caught after three years of hiding, then it would be all for nothing.

But for all Clarke knew, this scout was an innocent, acting as a pawn in someone else’s ongoing and long game.

Then Clarke remembered, no one is innocent. 

And she remembered the hard and cruel lesson she learned years ago. Choose with your head over your heart, that's how you survive.

She led the scout through the woods. She was quite familiar with them so she would use them to her advantage.

She could hear the scout’s steps behind her. 

Clarke amusedly thought they must’ve had a shortage of all the good scout’s because this one was definitely an amateur.

She then took a sharp left around a cave and pressed her body against the wall. She grabbed her dagger from its sheath and waited.

The footsteps got closer and closer and when the person turned from the corner, Clarke grabbed them, pushed them against the cave wall, and pressed her dagger to their throat.

“Who are you.” Clarke growled to the hooded figure.

She faltered when she heard a familiar deep laugh.

“Is that my dagger?” the voice said.

Clarke immediately dropped the dagger from the man’s throat and let him go.

“Ridian.” she breathed out warmly.

The man dropped his hood from his face so Clarke could see the man’s familiar raven black hair and blue eyes that almost looked silver. 

He smirked at her, that same smirk that Clarke had been familiar with for more than 2 years now.

“It’s not nice to steal, _Wanheda._ ” he said sarcastically.

Clarke just rolled her eyes and sheathed the dagger.

“Last time I checked you gave it to m-”

Clarke didn’t get to finish her sentence as the man pressed her against the rock wall and kissed her passionately. Clarke let him and kissed him back with the same amount of passion. When they no longer had enough air to support them they stopped and met each other's eyes.

“I missed you, _My love_.” Ridian said softly to the blonde.

“And I you.” Clarke said sincerely.

After a moment, a thought came to her mind and she began to panic and look around her.

“Where’s-”

“With Celeste.” Ridian said quickly, making the blonde calm down.

“And why are you here?” Clarke asked suspiciously. 

“Ridian if you’re here to watch out for me I already told you-”

“That you can protect yourself.” the man finished for her, he looked down at her, only amused by the blonde.

“Trust me, I know the great _Wanheda_ can protect herself from _Trikru_ scouts.” the man laughed.

Clarke huffed.

“Then why are you here?” she asked again.

“I’m here, Clarke, because you went out hunting hours ago saying you wouldn’t be long, and here you are, with no food, and out for long.” Ridian said calmly.

Clarke cheeks flushed with embarrassment, realizing how wrong she was.

“Oh.” she mustered out, and began walking the direction towards their home.

“Oh?” Ridian said, following the young woman.

“Be quiet.” Clarke said, rolling her eyes playfully. She shoved the man when he laughed.

They continued to walk to their home until, from a distance in front of them, they heard voices.

Both of them immediately ducked and looked at eachother knowingly. They looked back to survey the group in front of them. By Clarke’s count, there were 5 of them, mixed in gender, and they each had weapons at their side so they were most likely warriors. Around them they had a camp set up. Clarke wondered why they weren’t with the army or village they belonged to.

“Trikru warriors.” Clarke said.

“No.” Ridian said grimly.

Clarke looked to the man and saw his normal easy-going demeanor gone.

“ _Azgeda_.” he snarled.

Clarke looks back to the group.

“They have no scars, and their weapons are definitely from Trikru.” Clarke said, confused.

“They are spies. Or assassins. They haven’t started their tasks yet but when they split off they will.” Ridian said, still glaring at the group.

“Why would Nia risk sending a group of assassins into Trikru lands. That’s asking for trouble.” Clarke said.

“And trouble is what she wants. If Nia chose to send this many assassins into these lands then she’s making a move for something big. They’re here to assassinate or take someone important.” Ridian said.

Clarke looks down, knowing what this means.

“They’re here for you.” Clark whispers.

“Or you.” Ridian says, looking down.

Clarke sighs. Peace was nice while it lasted.

“We have to leave.” Ridian said standing up carefully.

“We can't go back at home yet. If you’re right then surely there are more assassins at the Trikru border.” Clarke said looking up to the man.

Ridian nodded.

“Let's go to the hideout then.” Ridian said. 

  
  
  


Their hideout was actually a turnt over buried RV that they had found about a year ago, much like the one Wells, Finn, and Clarke had once found in their first few days on Earth. It wasn’t big or stable enough to be a home but they decided it would be a great hideout, and meet up place, in case they ever got separated.

“We have to warn everyone.” Ridian said after a moment of silence.

“No.” was all Clarke said, knowing where Ridian was going with the conversation.

“You don’t want to warn your people? Tell them what’s coming?” Ridian asked incredulously.

“That would require going back to them. And you know I can’t do that.” 

“So you would condemn your people to death, because you fear facing them. That’s not the Clarke I know.” 

“You know damn well that’s not why I can’t go back.” Clarke snapped, glaring at the man for daring to call her coward.

“So it’s because of her then.” Ridian said.

Clarke stiffened.

“Ridian..” she warned.

“You fear facing her and that’s why you wish to do nothing.”

“Stop.” Clarke said weakly.

“ I would understand if it was only her people in danger but you know that that’s not the case. _Azgeda_ will not hesitate to take _Wanheda’s_ people.”

“You are my people Ridian!” Clarke yelled to the man. 

“I am no longer _Wanheda_ , I no longer command or lead people anywhere. My only concern and the only thing I care for is our family. That’s it.” Clarke said.

“We both know that that is not the truth. You will always care for your people, even when you are not with them.. You can’t run away from who you are.” 

“You’re one to talk.” Clarke snaps.

Ridian doesn’t falter, even with Clarke glaring at him. He was one of the few people who could do that. The blonde didn’t know if it was endearing or annoying.

“It may be hypocritical for me to say so, but I stand by what I said. Your people need you. Perhaps it is time you return-”

“We’ve talked about this before Ridian and the answer is still no.” Clarke says defiantly.

“Clarke-”

“Even if I were to leave you, leave our family to go back, the minute I step into those gates you know she’ll know.” Clarke says, stepping closer to the man.

“You say that I’m afraid of facing her and that may be true but I’m more afraid of what she’ll do to our family...If she finds out who you are...you’re dead Ridian, and she might kill me too. I’m not risking it all to save _her_ especially. This isn’t our war or our fight.” 

“But you know that isn’t true.” Ridian said, looking knowingly at the blonde.

“You know what will happen if this gets out of hand. The Coalition would fall,the lands would descend into chaos and in the process it would destroy our family, and all of your loved ones from the Ark! If that is not enough reason Clarke, if you won’t do it for your people, or for me, do it for _her._ ” Ridian said, grabbing the blonde’s hand. Clarke knows he’s now talking about a different her.

“That’s the reason I’m not fighting Ridian. I’m choosing for once, not to fight for her. I refuse to bring her into all of this, to introduce her to my past and make it her future. We didn’t grow up right. Our lives weren’t and still aren’t fair. I refuse to play a part in doing the same with her.” Clarke said, breaking her hands free and turning around.

“We’ve been here long enough, let's go home.” the blonde said, not waiting for the man to follow her.

  
  
  
  


“I’m sorry.” Ridian said as they walked. Clarke didn’t respond and continued walking.

“I know that you mean well..that distancing yourself from the world is necessary to ensure our family’s safety but Clarke,” Ridian said, grabbing Clarke’s wrist.

She turned around meeting his determined eyes. 

“We have to do something..It’s the ri-” 

“I know.” Clarke said, she drops her head and takes a deep breath before looking up to the man again.

“I know Ridian I just.. I thought I was done fighting..I don't want to fight anymore and I certainly don't want to fight for the Commander.” Clarke said angrily.

Ridian brings both his hands to the blonde's face. They were warm, no they were actually cold but whenever the man touched her, Clarke instantly became warm inside.

“We do not fight for her, Clarke. We fight for better things. Not even our loved ones should be the sole reason that we fight. We will fight for peace, for a better future where Nia or Azgeda do not have a place. I know what the Commander did in the past is unforgivable. But we must look past that, you must look past that. You know that she is the only way that can put a stop to this and she needs your help to do it. She need’s _Wanheda_ . We all need _Wanheda_.” Ridian said softly, but firmly.

They both stare at each other, stubbornness clashing against stubbornness. 

After a few moments, Clarke lets out a slow shaky breath, and breaks away from the man’s gaze.

“ _I’m scared, Ridian.”_ the blonde said. She didn’t meet the man in the eye when she said it, she was too prideful to do so, nor did she say it in her native language because that would make it too real to her, too true.

The man brought his hand to the blonde’s chin and pushed it up gently so that she would meet his eyes.

“I know, _my love._ I am fearful too. But we must remember that fear should not cloud our minds. We hold onto it, for survival, but we do not let it consume us.” 

The blonde let out a low chuckle.

“Where’d you learn that quote? Grounder school?” Clarke laughed as the man rolled his eyes.

“Very funny Cl-”

Their laughter was cut short when an arrow hit the tree that stood right next to the tree. 

They both turned to the woods behind them to see where the arrow had been shot from. In the woods were moving shadows.

“ _Azgeda._ They found us.” Ridian snarled.

“We have to run, and get back to-”

“There’s no time. They have us surrounded, we have to stay and fight.”

He then unsheathed the sword at his side and Clarke did the same with her dagger.

Clarke looked around, gripping her dagger like her life depended on it, which it did.

She knew how to fight now, or at least a lot better than she did three years ago. She could hold her own now, proficiently she thought, but with Azegda assassins, she wasn’t sure.

She had come across one or two, barely escaping her with her life and she only bested them in hand to hand combat. Ridian had come across a lot more than two of them and each time they did have a weapon, all dosed in deadly poison, an Azgeda specialty.

Now the two face not one, not two, but at least five assassins at the same time who all had deadly weapons at their sides. On top of that, Clarke wasn’t even sure if it was only five, she only took an estimate from the campsite. They were moving fast, very fast, in a circle much like the Trikru warriors did when Clarke and the rest of the 100 faced them. 

“Why are they not attacking?” Clarke whispering, still darting her eyes back and forth, trying to track the moving shadows. It was harder to do so now that the sun was setting. Clarke cursed herself silently. This was probably their plan all along. Make the pair think they were safe and then catch them off guard when they attack at night.

“Don’t worry...they will.” Ridian said lowly.

Clarke feared for their lives. Ridian’s more so than her own. She knew that the assassins would not kill her, they would capture her and then take her to the Ice Queen so she could kill Clarke herself. But Ridian..with what he’d done..he was worth more to the Ice Queen dead rather than alive.

A tree branch snapped and Clarke knew it was time to fight. She looked to Ridian and they nodded to each other as they both turned to meet the assassins.

They both had their own assassin to fight.

Clarke used her dagger to make longward strikes as the agile man infront of her dodged almost all of them. He glared at the girl but smiled mischievously right before he delivered strikes of his own, but with a much deadlier weapon.

Ridian had already defeated the assassin that dared to approach him, but as he moved on to help Clarke, who was barely dodging her assassin’s dangerous blade, another assassin approached the man from behind.

“Ridian!” Clarke shouted as the assassin behind him rose their sword to strike him down.

Ridian turned and easily blocked the assassin and began fighting him. 

Clarke then refocused her attention to the deadly person in front of her who was now throwing rapid strikes at the blonde making her wonder if she was actually to be brought to Azgeda alive. She backed away and dodged all of them but on the assassin’s final swing, Clarke backed and then tripped on a rock, falling to the ground.

The assassin approached her sword still in hand. 

Clarke’s hood had fallen so her blonde hair was revealed making her identity confirmed.

She instantly regretted her decision two years ago to stop dyeing it red.

“Your endeavor to live is useless _Wanheda_ , you know who sent us, and she will not stop until she has your head. Stop fighting.” The assassin said.

At this point, Clarke wasn’t sure if the she the assassin was talking about was Queen Nia or the Commander but either way, she would die before she was taken to either of them as a trophy, Clarke looked up at the assassin and backed down at his feet.

“Like hell I will.” Clarke growled, and before the assassin had a chance to respond, she swept his legs. He fell down and Clarke used this opportunity to pick up the rock she tripped on, she held the rock over the man’s head.

“ _Your fight is over.”_ she whispered before bringing the rock down on the man’s head.

Blood splattered on Clarke’s face but she didn’t flinch. She was used to that now.

She looked over to Ridian who had just ran his sword through the assassin he was facing. He pulled his sword out of the corpse who fell to the ground and then looked to Clarke.

“Are you alright.” Ridian whispered.

Ridian knew how Clarke felt about killing. She didn’t cry anymore when she did it, but each time she did she felt a little bit more numb. As if she was losing pieces of her humanity. Her numbness, she thought, would maybe aid her in facing her loved ones, in facing _her_. But it did no such thing. No, the fear of rejection, and the thoughts of her past that still haunted her were still intact and embedded in Clarke. And they would not go away.

Clarke nodded.

“That was three, there are at least two more.” Clarke noted, her voice void of any emotion. 

Ridian frowned but didn’t say anything to address it.

“We should go home.” Ridian said.

“They’ll follow us.” Clarke said.

“Or they could be making their way to our home as we speak.” 

Clarke huffed. In frustration and tiredness.

“You’re right. Let’s go.” Clarke said finally.

  
  
  


The pair walked in the night in silence and every and now and then would smudge their tracks in case they were being followed. 

“So what will you do when we reach Arkadia?” Ridian said, breaking their silence.

Clarke huffed at Ridian’s lame attempt to make conversation.

“We don’t have time for this Ridian.” she grumbled.

“I think we do. And I think it would benefit you more than me to talk about it.” 

Clarke closes her eyes and breathes out slowly. She loved Ridian but he cared so much that sometimes it was infuriating.

“Niylah’s scout friends say that my mother is still Chancellor, so I would go to her, tell her about _Azgeda_ , tell her we need to start preparing for war and that we need to warn the clans.” Clarke said.

“And that’s it.” Ridian said, obviously annoyed.

“Tell me what you want to hear so I can just say it.” Clarke said tiredly. Who knew that these woods inspired so much conversation.

“I want to hear the truth.” 

“They hate me Ridian.” Clarke said, turning around to face the man once again.

The man shook his head. “You don’t know that.” He said.

“Yeah I do, I abandoned them. If someone abandoned me I would hate them.” Clarke said, knowing that she had in fact experienced abandonment. And she knew she would hate them for as long as she could. The abandonment was unintentional on her father’s part but that wasn’t the abandonment that haunted her, made her hate.

“Well luckily everyone doesn’t have the same capacity for forgiveness as Clarke Griffin.” Ridian said with a smirk on his face.

He only laughed when he saw the blonde’s disgruntled look.

“Clarke-”

Ridian didn’t get to finish his sentence because a sword was driven through his midsection.

“Ridian!” Clark screamed, her voice echoed through the woods surely letting anyone within five miles that she was there. 

But she didn't care. 

Ridian fell to his knees as the sword was drawn out from his body, Behind him, Clake saw one of the assassins from the campsite.

“Die, _traitor_.” the brunette growled as Ridian fell to the ground.

“Ridian! No!” Clarke cried as she reached for the man but was stopped when a sword was pressed against her neck.

“Please! I have to help him! I’ll have to help him or he’ll die!” Clarke pleaded. Tears streamed down her face. She couldn’t remember the last time that happened, the last time she felt so vulnerable that she cried.

  
“That would be the point _Wanheda_.” The brunette said, growling when she said the blonde’s infamous title.

“Please if you let me help him, I-I’ll go with you! I won't put up a fight, I swear it!” Clarke said desperately.

The brunette just stared at the blonde, unmoved.

“Please.” the blonde said weakly.

The brunette after a moment nodded reluctantly and dropped the sword from the blonde’s throat. Clarke rushed over to the man who lied on his side, gasping for air.

“Hey.”she said with a weak smile as she touched the man’s face. He didn’t respond but looked at her.

“You’re going to be okay, I'm going to fix you up-” 

“Clarke-” the man coughed up as she tried rolling on his back.

“No stay on your side! We don’t know if the sword pierced your lungs so we need to-”

“Clarke.” he said again, more firmly this time.

“What could you possibly have to say right now.” Clarke said, letting out a sad laugh as she wiped the rapidly falling tears from her cheeks.

“I need you to promise,” he said quietly.

“I’ll promise you whatever you want if you let me heal-” 

“There’s no time. The poison is already spreading.” he said weakly. He grabbed Clarke’s hand.

“I need you to promise me that you’ll go home.” 

“You are my home.” Clarke whispered. “I can't go back there without Ridian, I can’t do this without you, please don’t make me.” the blonde pleaded.

“You have to, promise me Clarke.” the man said, squeezing the blonde’s hand.

“I promise. Okay I promise. Now please let me help you.” Clarke said frantically. 

The dying man just smiled. A tear rolled down his cheek as he stared at the beautiful site before him. He knew he should fight to stay, that he should not let go of the precious enigmatic treasure that was Clarke Griffin. But he knew that she didn’t need him. She didn’t need anyone. 

But the world needed her. And now he had to let her go so she could do so.

“ _I love you, Clarke.”_ he said. Clarke’s face started to become more unclear so he knew it was his time.

“No, no, no.” Clarke said holding his head up.

“You can’t go to sleep. You can't leave me Ridian you can't!” she cried. She cupped the man's face in her shaky hands. 

She kissed him. She didn’t know why. Maybe she hoped that she was in a dream or that she was one of those characters in the movies she used to watch on the Ark where they kissed their partner and then everything was okay again. She broke from this kiss and pulled back. She met those glassy eyes that no longer looked at Clarke with love. They were empty.

She shut her eyes as more tears came down her cheek.

“He is dead. Now honour your deal _Wanheda_.” the assassin said.

Clarke opened her eyes and looked back to those glassy blue eyes. 

She put her hand over them and closed them.

“ _Your fight is over.”_ she whispered with a shaky voice. Clarke then looked to Ridian’s sword which was right in front of her. She shuddered angrily, feeling a rage she hadn’t felt since the first few months after the mountain. 

“ _Wanh_ -”

Suddenly, familiar yells and warrior cries came from the woods.

“ _Trikru_.” the brunette growled. “Come on, we have to go.”

“I have a better idea.” the blonde snarled. She saw red, and the next thing she saw clearly was the assassin’s body dropping to the floor as they pressed their hands against the long open wound now gaping on the brunette’s neck.

She walked over to the gasping assassin and grabbed her shirt and lifted her up. The assassin put her hand on Clarke’s neckline, maybe her last attempt to defend herself but she was too weak to do anything about it.

“That was for Ridian.” the blonde said lowly.

“Your Queen want’s _Wanheda_. Well guess what.”

The blonde turns to look to the woods behind her, almost certain that the last assassin was in the woods watching somewhere, if they hadn’t already fled from the _Trikru_ warriors.

“You got her!” she yelled loudly. 

She looked back to the assassin.

“ _Your fight is over._ ” she said bitterly. She then took her dagger and stabbed the assassin in the side of her neck. The same way she did with Atom but far less merciful. The assassin dropped her hand from the blonde’s neckline and went limp. 

Clarke then heard the warrior cries getting closer. She knew she had to leave, but she didn’t want to leave Ridian. But she had a promise to keep. As much as she didn’t want to keep it. 

She sheathed the dagger and looked at Ridian one last time.

“I’m sorry that this happened to you _my love_.” she whispered. 

I'm sorry that you knew me. She said to herself.

  
  


It didn’t take Clarke long to get to the cabin. Her and Ridian’s home. She stood in front of the door, gathering herself before she entered.

She took a deep breath and the knocked on the door. Four times with a break in between the third and last one.

A few moments later the door carefully opened revealing Celeste.

The old woman looked at Clarke up and down, taking in the dried blood on her hands, face and neck. She then looked passed Clarke and when she saw there was no one else, she looked back to the blonde with sadness.

“ _I’m sorry my child._ ” she said sincerely. 

Clarke only nodded and entered the house.

She looked around, at the suddenly unfamiliar place, and then looked back to Celeste.

“ _Where is_ -”

“ _She’s sleeping_.” Celeste said gently. 

Clarke nodded.

_“What are you going to do?”_ the woman asked the blonde.

_“I have to go back to Arkadia, fulfill my promise to Ridian. Celeste, war is coming. Kwin Nia wants my head and if she finds out you helped me then-”_

_“Worry not my child, I know how to take care of myself against Azgeda scum.”_ The old woman scoffed.

Clarke let out a weak laugh that had no happiness behind it. 

Clarke looks to the back room.

“ _What will you tell her?_ ” The woman asked Clarke.

“I have no idea.”Clarke whispered as she made her way to the room.

She walked to the corner of the room where the crib stood, and in it was where the baby lied.

Clarke tried and failed to hold back her tears as she caressed the baby’s dark brown curls. The baby must’ve sensed her as she stirred in her sleep and then opened her wide eyes. 

“Mommy?” the baby girl asked as she sat up excitedly.

“Hey babygirl!” Clarke said, picking up the girl as she held her hands out signaling for Clarke to take her.

She held her close as she embraced the child, afraid that if she let go, she too would be gone.

“Daddy?” the babygirl asked.

Another tear rolled down Clarke’s cheek.

“Daddy?” the baby repeated again.

“Daddy’s not here Reyna... he’s... he’s not going to be here for awhile okay?” Clarke said, trying to console the baby, and herself.

Clarke met the baby’s dissatisfied blue eyes and tried not to burst into tears again.

“Hey I know what will cheer you up.” Clarke said, repositioning the baby in her arms.

“You and Mommy are gonna go on a trip...It’s time you see my home.”

  
  
  


Indra surveyed the woods around her. Less than an hour ago she had been summoned from Ton DC because of a supposed Ice Nation. Now, with three bodies in front of Indra and two others less than a mile away, she knew it to be true. None of the bodies had _Azgeda_ markings but they all had pasty skin and dark hair, something that was common in _Azgeda_ . Indra deduced that they must’ve been assassins. One of the bodies did have an _Azgeda_ sword by his side, so this only confirmed Indra’s suspicions.

One of the warriors who had been chasing the assassins approached her and bowed their head respectfully.

“ _Do we know who they are?_ ” Indra asked.

The warrior shook his head.

“ _No, but we are following the trail of an assassin that we think escaped whatever took place here tonight.”_ he said.

Indra nodded and began to walk away, dissatisfied with the useless information she had been given. She knew _Heda_ would not be pleased.

“ _There’s more._ ” the warrior said, making Indra halt and turn.

“ _What._ ” Indra said impatiently.

The warrior swallowed but still held his composure.

“ _One of my warriors..she said as she approached the bodies a distance away from here, she saw a figure move away from them_.” he said carefully.

“ _And?_ ” Indra pushed.

“ _She said on the head of this figure.. She saw hair as light as gold._ ” the man said finally.

Indra tried her best to keep her composure after what he said. She couldn’ help but look around at the bodies. Was the same girl she knew three summers ago now capable to unleash death this proficiently?

“ _You think..You believe that it is her_?” Indra asked.

The warrior nodded and then reached for something in his pocket.

“ _My warrior also found this in the hands in one of the hands of the assassins._ ” he said as he held out an object. 

It had a broken leather tie around it but the object seemed to be some time of band. Indra knew immediately where it came from.

“ _It’s Skaikru._ ” she said quietly. 

She then looked up to meet the warrior’s eyes.

“ _Bring me a scout, and provide him with the fastest horse you can find on short notice. Tell no one of this._ ” Indra said lowly. The warrior nodded and jogged away.

It was longer than Indra wished it to be when the scout approached her on horse. She signaled for them to come and looked around before she spoke.

“ _I have a message for you to deliver to Polis.To the Commander.”_ Indra said quietly.

The girl attempted to pull out a piece of paper and charcoal but Indra stopped her.

“ _This cannot be written down._ ” she said sternly. 

The girl nodded and waited for Indra to continue. 

“ _Azgeda has stepped into Trikru lands with assassins, Kwin Nia has broken the terms of the Coalition.”_ Indra said.

The girl swallowed but nodded.

She began to mount her horse but Indra stopped.

“ _That it is not all.”_ she said quietly.

The girl turned back and looked at the woman with confusion.

“ _Wanheda..is alive._ ” Indra said. Not believing it entirely herself.

The girl’s eyes went wide. She looked around her with realization. 

“ _You must hurry to Polis, make no stops, speak to no one about this but the Commander do you understand?”_ Indra said, physically shaking the girl out of her daze.

The girl blinked and nodded.

“ _Yes, I understand_.” she said.

_“Now go.”_ Indra said.

The girl nodded and mounted the horse and disappeared into the night.

Indra looked at the site before her once again. She could not blame the girl or her shock, and maybe even her fear. Wanheda was said to be dead. The Commander had never given up hope on finding her and now they finally did, but Indra wasn’t sure that the Commander or anyone would like what they found.

  
  
  
  


Clarke stumbled slightly as she pushed herself up a heap of rocks. She whinced when she felt a sudden pain on her thigh. She looked to see what it was. She could barely see in the dark but she knew what it was. The assassin Clarke had been fighting had apparently nicked her with his sword. It wasn’t bad enough to kill her but it was enough poison to give her fever, and if she collapsed in these woods without treating it, then she would die. It must’ve been the arenaline that had kept her from tiring before but now she was starting to feel it. 

Reyna whimpered against Clarke’s back but made no other noises as she slept contently in the wrap Clarke had made and put her in.

“It’s okay Reyna..we’re almost there.” Clarke said to her daughter but meant it for herself as motivation more than anything. It was true though, they were less than a mile away, and then they would be home. If Clarke could even call it that.

It was dawn when she could see it clearly.

She stood in the treeline, afraid to move any closer.

It had looked the same.. but also it didn’t?

Now the gates were expanded and outside of them, there were buildings that were definitely not there the last time Clarke was there. 

She hesitated, but took her first step forward. If she was thinking rationally, she would’ve remembered that she was dressed in grounder clothing and wouldn’t be recognized as herself or even as a friendly. But she was not thinking rationally, because she had a fever that was making each footstep harder than the next and making her eyelids very heavy.

“Grounder at my twelve’ o clock! I got em’! Do not shoot or engage!” someone said. A voice that sounded so familiar but Clarke assumed that was the fever talking.

A light shined in her face and Clarke, as tired as she was, made no motion to block it.

“No way.” the familiar voice said.

The light dropped from Clarke’s face and she blinked rapidly until her vision refocused. When it did she saw who was before her.

“Bellamy?” she whispered, not believing that she would ever say that name again, or see it’s belonger.

He smiled, a smile that dropped quickly but Clarke could only assume that was on the account of her loosing her consciousness.

  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Every Road Leads to Genocide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, wrote another chapter today. Hope you guys like it, but before we begin I wanna clear something up that I guess I thought I already explained. Lexa and Clarke are endgame BUT it’s gonna take a minute to get there. Clarke has some trust issues, PTSD, and flat-out “hatred” for Lexa right now. And Lexa has some issues too so it’s not gonna be “and they lived happily ever after” by chapter 4. If you guys have any questions or logical criticisms, feel free to comment, I look at them I swear. Okay that’s all, enjoy.

Octavia welcomed Indra back to Tondc when she came back. She updated her on the remodeling of the village, telling her of the steel and metal the Sky people were adding to the new homes and on the new wall that was being built. She told her that she had finished her morning watch, done all her chores, helped set up for the festival happening in two days, and even helped train the other warriors’ adolescent seconds, but none of this seemed to please Indra. It actually seemed like she wasn’t even listening to a word Octavia was saying.

Once they reached Indra’s quarters, without her uttering a word to Octavia, she began to go in but Octavia moved in her way.

“ _Teacher, what is wrong?”_ Octavia asked. Indra met Octavia’s eyes for the first time as if just realizing that she was there.

“ _Nothing, Octavia, Return to your training second, you’ll soon be needing it.”_ she said. The warrior held her composure but Octavia could see through her tough exterior.

“ _What does that mean Indra? I know something is wrong. Did something happen in the woods?”_ Octavia pushed. She knew she was close because Indra’s jaw flexed when she mentioned the woods.

“ _Please Indra, it’s me. You know you can trust me._ ” Octavia tried.

Indra glared at Octavia but she did not falter, just as Octavia did not give up on becoming her second again years ago.

Indra scoffed and Octavia knew she had worn her down.

“ _Bring two tankards of ale. We’ll need it after._ ” Indra said before she went into her quarters.

Octavia nodded and then went to the brewery. When she returned, when Indra told her what was coming, she realized how right she was about needing a drink.

“ _There’s one thing I don’t get_.” Octavia said as Indra took a long sip of her ale.

“ _How does Azgeda expect to take over or destroy the Coalition? Heda is in charge and her power isn’t in question, no clan would decide to side against her, especially when the other side is Nia._ ” 

“ _That is not all the way true. Many still disapprove of Heda's choice in abandoning Skaikru and leaving the mountain.”_

“ _Since when have the other clans given a damn about Skaikru._ ” Octavia scoffed.

“ _They don’t. But they say that Heda is weak for doing so. They only whisper and gossip, waiting for something else to arise, to call her leadership into question. Nia does the same. Cowards._ ” Indra growled.

Octavia looked at Indra. She had been around her long enough to tell when something wasn’t all the way right and even though she just revealed the troublesome news concerning _Azgeda_ and the Coalition, Octavia knew something else was wrong. A terrible thought crosses her mind.

“ _Is this about Skaikru? Are they trying to sabotage their relationship with the other clans? That can’t work right, because they are the 13 clan now. They’ve been cooperative, they’re helping with the renovations and sharing their knowledge. Indra, I know you’re hiding something, tell me what is it._ ” Octavia said desperately. She knew she shouldn’t have talked to her teacher like that. She knew Indra had no obligation to tell her what was wrong, just as Octavia had no obligation to the people of Arkadia, because she no longer belonged to them. But she still had family there. Bellamy, Monty, Jasper, hell even Raven.

“ _The people of Arkadia will not be the flint that lights this fire Octavia._ ” Indra said vaguely. Octavia noticed how she chose her words. Instead of saying Skaikru, the people of the sky, she said the people of Arkadia. Which didn’t necessarily rule out a Sky person. A sky person that didn’t belong to Arkadia. She only knew one of those. Well, only one that could be the cause of a war. But she didn’t want to believe that. She didn’t want to believe that toxic individual was potentially coming back.

“ _Indra.._ ” Octavia said leaning closer.

“ _What else did you find out there?_ ” she asked, secretly afraid of the answer. She was in no way afraid of the person. Not like most of the grounders, who whispered exaggerated ghost stories about her ex-friend. No, she knew her before her genocidal days, when she was just an empathetic and hard headed teen. But Octavia was afraid of what she could do, if she meant to do it or not. Trouble always had a way of finding the girl and she usually ended up handing it in the worst ways. People would get killed. Which was fine for the guilty parties but when Clarke was involved, innocence got in the mix too.

“ _I think you know.._ ” Indra said, taking another sip of her ale. 

She then knew why Indra hesitated to tell Octavia. She had too many ties to Skaikru and she guessed technically their newest lord and savior. Indra probably assumed that after this conversation, Octavia would run straight to Arkadia, and tell Lincoln or Bellamy who would tell the Council and Abby. Indra didn’t know though that Octavia was still angry with Bellamy and Lincoln for being on the Guard. It had been almost three years since Lincoln decided to join the guard and even after Abby got his banishment lifted, he still stayed. Which made Octavia furious. So no, she wasn’t going to tell Bellamy or Lincoln anything, not just out of bitterness but with the way Indra was acting, she knew that her ex-friend’s resurrection was not good, not good at all. 

  
  


“Clarke _._ ” Octavia finally admitted out loud.

Indra shook her head.

“ _Not Klarke, Wanheda._ ” she clarified.

Octavia scoffed. “ _She’s always going to Klarke to me. She doesn’t command Death. She inflicts it.”_

“ _That may be so. But Klarke is not who everyone still searches for in secret. Wanheda is. Wanheda destroyed the mountain, not Heda. Her power was called into question because of it and that subsided when Wanheda was presumed dead, but now…”_

_“You found her, didn’t you._ ” Octavia presumed. It was the only real reason that would cause such uneasiness in Indra. For three years there was no trace of Clarke anywhere. She had truly disappeared and was rumored to be dead. She knew the Commander hadn’t given up her efforts in searching for the blonde, for whatever reason, but Octavia only thought of that as a lost cause. She knew that the other clan leaders were secretly looking for Clarke too but knew they wouldn’t find her. 

Clarke didn’t let anything happen unless she wanted it to happen. Something Octavia used to admire in Clarke, but then would learn to hate it.

Now that she was alive, and it wasn’t just rumors of supposed sightings, a part of Octavia, a part that she would never admit aloud, was relieved that her ex-friend was alive. She hated Clarke. That was certain. But when she heard she was dead, she did feel something. Clarke had that effect on people.

Indra nodded. 

“ _There was a sighting of her close to the Trikru Border. There was a trail of Azgeda assassin bodies where she was seen.”_ Indra said.

Octavia eyes go wide.

“ _Wait, you think she did that?”_ Octavia asked. Indra nodded again.

“ _There was no one else there. No other tracks. Just the Azgeda tracks and hers._ ”

Octavia pondered over this for a moment. 

The Clarke she knew was no fighter. She could hold her own if it came down to it but the last time Octavia had seen her, she definitely could not kill multiple assassins in one setting. Octavia herself couldn’t do that.

“ _Wait, so Nia is after her too. Wait, that’s what she’s going to use to start a war isn’t it. She’s going to kill Clarke and claim her supposed power right?_ ” Octavia was figuring it all out. Best case scenario, the Commander would retrieve Clarke before anyone else did and then Clarke would rejoin her side and possibly commit genocide again with _Azgeda_ , worst case scenario, Clarke would die at the hands of the Ice Queen and then _Azgeda_ would possibly commit genocide against _Skaikru_ , take over the already apparently crumbling Coaltion, and kill anyone who opposed. There were also other scenarios, where the Commander killed Clarke to take her power, and then Arkadia would stupidly wage war against her or Octavia’s personal favorite, where Clarke emerges as a vengeful killing machine and kills the Commander, Nia, and anyone else she feels needs to be killed along the way. Maybe that was actually the worst case scenario. Octavia didn’t know.

Indra nodded.

“ _Does the Commander know?”_

“ _I sent a messenger to her before dawn. The scout should reach her by mid-day._ ” Indra said.

Octavia nodded. She then fidgets with her cup, trying not to ask the question to the answer she wanted desperately, for reasons beyond her.

“ _Stop fidgeting and speak freely._ ” Indra said, annoyed at Octavia’s anxiousness.

“What will the Commander do?” asked quickly. The question flew so fast off her tongue that Octavia didn’t even realize she switched to English. 

Indra notices this but either doesn’t care enough to ask or was just being nice.

Probably the first option.

“ _I do not know._ ” Indra admitted.

I don’t even think she knows. Octavia thought to herself, but didn’t dare speak that thought aloud. It was treason to speak ill about the Commandr, no matter how much Octavia might’ve disliked her herself. She had tried to have Octavia killed more times than Clarke did. 

And now Clarke may be yet again, indirectly be the cause of Octavia’s death. 

Octavia always knew Clarke was special. Maybe even envied her a bit because of it.

But she didn’t know that Clarke would be the cause of a World War on Earth.

Actually, that seemed very Clarke.

  
  
  
  


Lexa had just got finished with yet another dispute. 

This time, it was over cattle. One farmer’s cattle had apparently eaten a week’s supply of another farmer’s crops and now that farmer was angrily demanding for repayment. 

Repayment which called for the death of the other farmer.

Lexa couldn’t believe that this was even a discussion.

In the end, she said that the farmer would provide the other farmer with one of his cows and that he would also build a fence to separate their properties.

“Is that all for today Titus?” Lexa asked tiredly.

“I believe so, _Heda._ ” Titus said.

Before Titus could say anything else Lexa rushed out of the room. She hastily walked to her room, nodding at those who she passed by. Her guards opened her doors and when they closed them she let out a breath of relief. 

She hated those meetings now. Well, she always hated them but now she had so little toleration for it that in some moments, she just wanted to command the beheading of the people who brought their trivial problems to her. She couldn’t stand to be around people much these days. They reminded her of what she couldn’t have.

Happiness. A normal life.

Clarke.

Lexa clenched her fist just thinking about her. She was angry. She couldn’t articulate exactly who or what she was angry at though, she just knew she was angry. She knew that she would make the same decision at the Mountain. She was the commander and her people always came first. 

But she knew what she would’ve changed.

She wouldn’t have left Clarke. She would’ve brought Clarke back to Polis, against her will if she had too. She wouldn’t care if Clarke hated her for it, because at least she would be alive.

Now, Lexa didn’t know if Clarke was alive, or if she hated Lexa or not. What she did know was that she had disappeared, and that if she ever showed her face again she would be chased till the end of the days. Everyone was desperate to claim the title _Wanheda_ , and they didn’t care if that meant that Clarke had to die for that to happen.  
  


Lexa did care though,  
  
That’s why she didn’t stop searching for Clarke, she never did. The commanders before her spoke to her. Saying that she was weak for caring for Clarke. That she let her affection for Clarke blind her, and that she would be the cause of Lexa’s death. Lexa frankly didn’t care if that was true because she owed Clarke her life. Everyone did. She took down the Mountain Men so they would never be a threat to Lexa’s people again.

Clarke didn’t do it for Lexa or her people though. She did it for own.

And because she knew Clarke, Lexa knew that the blonde had most likely sacrificed her humanity and sanity in the process, and maybe even her life.

That’s why Lexa did what she could to make her relationship with Clarke’s people to work. She invited them into the Coalition. Made them the 13 Clan. 

There was more than enough protest against it. In the clans and in the gates of Arkadia. Lexa underestimated the loyalty most had for Clarke in Arkadia, but in the end, even Clarke’s mother, the Chancellor, knew she had no choice but to accept.

That was two years ago, and even though it was still fragile, the rest of the Coalition’s relationship with Skaikru was getting better and better. The only thing that was going right for Lexa at the moment. 

Skaikru had helped in the rebuilding of Tondc and they even added renovations, making their buildings more resilient and resistant against the weather. Winter was coming soon, and they would be more prepared. Lexa in return provided Skaikru with horses, farming techniques, and access to medicines. It was a mutually beneficial relationship that was working well, and Lexa hoped it would last. Lexa was the longest living Commander there ever was. Now at the age of 23 summers. She had accomplished more than any other commander since Becca Pramheda but now, now that she had done all these things. She couldn’t help but feel like everything was inevitably going to fall apart.

Lexa looked to the map that was on her desk.

She had tried to keep track of Clarke’s movements in the first year. She actually marked the map with pins to do so, but after a while, it seemed like no one had actually seen Clarke. Deach time her scouts would show up to the villages or areas she was seen in, they found nothing. There were so many rumors spreading. One village said that they had said they saw a girl that looked like the Skai Princess but had red hair instead of golden. There were other goose chases. Multiple villages had claimed that Clarke had come to them, celebrated with them. Some villagers claimed and bragged that they did activities with the girl. Activities that Lexa did not care for when it concerned Clarke with other people. 

She considered going to the other clans for help but hesitated everytime. They were loyal to her, supposedly. But when it came to Clarke, it was a whole different story, because Clark wasn’t just Clarke anymore. She was Wanheda.

Lexa hated that that’s what they called her.

Not because it called her power and authority into question but because she knew that’s not who Clarke was and that Clarke herself probably despised the title.

And now because of that title, anyone with power in the clans wanted Clarke’s head. 

In a way it was good that she was assumed dead, but that didn’t stop Lexa’s heart from breaking. Now, all she had was the memory of Clarke, and even that was heartbreaking. Considering her last memory of the girl was Clarke begging Lexa not to leave her. The last look she saw in Clarke was hopelessness, hurt, and anger. Something that Lexa would remember even when she closed her eyes, whether she liked it or not.

Someone knocked on Lexa’s door, taking her away from her deep thoughts.

“ _Come in._ ” she said firmly, regaining her composure as she did.

In walked Titus, who had a disgruntled look on his face so Lexa knew her peace, or her sad version of it, was over.

“ _Heda,_ ” he said bowing respectfully. “I’m sorry to disturb you, but there is a problem that needs to be addressed.” he said vaguely.

“What is it?” Lexa snapped. Titus knew that when Lexa’s business was done for the day, she wanted to be left alone, unbothered, now she was officially bothered.

Titus turns to the guards and nods. “ _Bring her in,_ ” he said. Not a moment later, a girl, restrained,bruised, and bleeding all over was dragged into Lexa’s room.

“What is this.” Lexa said, more impatient than she was before, especially now that the girl was bleeding on her floors.

“This girl claims she has a message for you _Heda_ , but cannot say who sent her, what it’s about, or where she came from.” Titus said holding his head high as the girl glared at him.

“So you think that she’s an assassin.” Lexa stated, not asked. 

Titus nodded.

“I do, _Heda_.” he said.

Lexa eyed the girl. She didn’t look at all like an assassin. But she guessed that was a part of the criteria for being an assassin. Still, the way the girl looked, Lexa doubted she was trained to kill anyone.

“You would think she would’ve come up with something better, acted with more finesse, if she was a seasoned assassin, don’t you _teacher_?” Lexa asked innocently, but with a bit of bite in her tone.

Titus’ nostrils flared and he fixed his posture, as if it needed any more fixing. “That could be so _Heda_ but we should not risk-”

“So if I were to think logically, I could safely deduce that this girl is not an assassin but a messenger who carries important information that you have delayed her from giving to your _Heda_.” Lexa said, practically throwing her patience out the window at that point.

Titus bowed his head slightly. “ _Heda_ I-”

“ _Release her_.” Lexa told the guards. They did so quickly.

“ _Now leave us.”_ she said, dismissively waving her hand at them.

“ _Heda I must insist-_ ”

“Leave us, Titus.” Lexa said tightly. Lexa held her ground against the teacher, and for a brief moment, so did he, but he eventually relented and paced out of the room angrily.

Now, it was just the two of them.

The messenger apparently knew better than to speak right away and instead waited for Lexa. She was that glad that she did so.

Lexa visibly took a deep breath.

She wasn’t supposed to visibly show her discontent, or any emotion really, but she had a feeling that it would be wise to show the girl her own humanity. If she really did have a message, one that she chose not to reveal any part of while possibly being tortured, then Lexa needed to treat her with gentleness, kindness, and compassion.

Something she lacked these days.

“What’s your name?” Lexa asked. 

The girl looked even more thrown off.

“Jane. After my father, Janus.” the girl said, surprisingly firm. Her voice came out scratchy, telling Lexa she hadn’t spoken in awhile and she most likely didn’t have any food or water either.

Lexa nodded.

“You look exhausted. Your journey must have been long. Would you like some water, or food?” Lexa asked. 

The messenger looked at Lexa curiously, maybe in awe. Lexa couldn’t tell if that was because she was the commander or because of how quick she was able to change her tone and demeanor.

“No Heda, I’m fine.” the girl said. 

“Very well.” Lexa said, crossing her arms behind her back. 

“You have a message for me?” Lexa asked.

The girl nodded and then swallowed.

“Indra sent me.” she said.

Lexa nodded, telling her to continue. 

“There was a reported _Azgeda_ sitting near the Trikru border,” the girl continued.

Lexa’s nosed flared but she remained calm.

“ _Azgeda_ assassins.” the girl clarified.

Lexa tried not to stiffen visibly when she heard this. 

“And these reported sightings were proven to be true?” Lexa asked.

The girl nodded.

“Five bodies were found, three in one area and two less than a mile away from the others. One assassin escaped the same fate. The last I heard they were still searching for him.” 

“Six _Azgeda_ assassins and five dead. Who killed them?” Lexa asked, frankly curious as to who or what group managed to kill Nia’s trained and infamous assassins.

“We do not know _Heda_ , they were all dead when they were found..but.” the girl stopped, hesitated as if she was afraid to say her next words.

“But what Jane?” Lexa asked sternly.

“Someone else was seen fleeing from the assassins.” Jane said.

“The sixth one?”

Jane shook her head.

“A girl.” she said.

“With golden hair.”

Lexa’s breathing stopped. 

She didn’t resume breathing because she didn’t know what she would do if she did. She had so many questions. So many thoughts and so many feelings.

“And have they apprehended, this girl.” Lexa said carefully.

“No _Heda_. Something we believe to be hers was found in the hands of one of the dead though.” 

Jane reaches into her pocket as Lexa carefully watches her.

Lexa is even more shocked by what she sees before her.

Clarke’s watch.

“It belongs to _Skaikru_.” the girl said carefully.

Lexa nodded stiffly.

“I see.” she said tightly. Jane is still holding the watch out to her and Lexa decided to take it.

She looked at the strange device that Clarke adored so much. She always wondered what it was to her. It didn’t have any practical value, not that Lexa saw, but yet she always saw Clarke with it at all times.

She breaks her gaze with the object and looks back up to Jane who was nervously waiting for Lexa to say or do something.

“Do you know where these bodies were found? Could you identify them on a map?” Lexa asked the girl.

Jane hesitates but then nods.

Lexa guides her to the map on her desk.

“The bodies were found here and here.” Jane said, pointing to the map.

“And do you know what direction the blonde was heading in?”

The girl thinks for a moment and nods.

“North I believe.” 

North.

North of those sites was Arkadia.

Lexa knew it wasn’t certain that Clarke had ventured off to Arkadia. After all, she hadn’t decided to come there in the three years she had been gone. And no one from Arkadia had notified Lexa. They had established a series of communication links with their “walkie talkies” for that very purpose. It was a part of the deal she had with the Chancellor. She was to notify Lexa if she ever lied her eyes on Clarke. Though Lexa wouldn’t put it past the Sky people, especially Abby, if they just decided to disobey Lexa, and now had Clarke in their grasp. 

Either way, Lexa’s mind was made.

“Guards.” Lexa said. 

The doors opened and two guards came into the room.

“Please take Jane to one of our best rooms. Make sure she has all the foods and refreshments she desires and that she is well taken care of. Also provide her with what she needs for her travels back home.” 

“Yes _Heda._ ” the guards said in unison.

“Jane.” she says looking at the wide eyed girl.

“Thank you.” the brunette said sincerely. The girl just nodded.

“And I trust you know that you can tell no one of this.” Lexa whispered.

“I will take it to my grave.” Jane said, determined.

Lexa nods gratefully and lets the guards escort the girl away.  
  


She then turned back to the map. The map that she now looked at with more hope than ever. Hope that she would find Clarke.

A part of Lexa was fearful for what she would find though. Would it be Clarke or some detached and wrong version of her? Or, would it be Wanheda that she would be seeing for the first time in three years?

Lexa wanted to ignore parts of what Jane said. 

She wanted to ignore that Nia had broken the terms of the Coalition and that this meant war. She wanted to ignore that Clarke had apparently taken down five _Azgeda_ assassins by herself. 

She wanted to focus on the fact that she finally had some idea of where she is. That she was closer to bring the Skai Princess to safety. She wanted to take a horse and ride all the way to Arkadia so she could ensure that safety.. And so she could see her again.

But she couldn’t ignore what she just heard. She had to choose head over heart. Make the decisions she needed to protect her people. But, in the process, she would ensure Clarke’s safety.

And if there was a war coming, then it seemed that they were already to be reunited.

She walked out of her room and looked for Titus. 

She found him with the Natblidas out in the courtyard.

“ _Heda_!” Aden yelled gleefully as he ran towards her.

She couldn’t help but smile at his cheerful appearance. He bowed before he approached her but once he did he hugged her tightly. Lexa should’ve scolded him, for hugging her in an affectionate way and if in front of all of the other Natblidas, but after the news she received, she frankly needed it.

“Titus will be upset that you are missing your lesson Aden.” Lexa said to the boy as he smiled nervously.

“ _Heda_ is correct.” Titus said as Aden went rigid.

He turns and bows his head solemnly.

“Sorry, _teacher_.” he said. He turns back to Lexa and gives her a wide smile which she returns with an affectionate nod before he runs back to the other Natblidas.

“ _Heda_.” Titus said as he bowed.

“Do you wish to train with the _Natblidas_ ?” the _Fleimkepa_ asked.

“No. I wish for you to gather the Elders. I need to seek their guidance.” Lexa said.

Titus nods. “As you wish. May I ask what you may need the Elders’ guidance on?” Titus asked.

Lexa hesitates for a moment before she speaks. She knows she can trust Titus. But still, is reluctant to reveal all the information Jane provided Lexa with. So she provides the most simplistic answer she can say to him.

“War, Titus. It’s coming.”


	3. Desperation is a Dangerous Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie. Wasn’t a fan of this chapter. But had to be made. So we’re seeing a bit of Lexa’s angry side in this chapter. We don’t know who or what exactly she’s angry at though. Maybe she doesn’t know either. Sorry for not getting this in by Friday. I had three papers to write and a Physics test. Enough said. Let me know what you guys think. I really enjoy the comments so yeah keep doing that.

**_3 years ago on Oct. 21, 2149_ **

Lexa sat in her chair, twirling her knife in boredom, waiting for her visitor to arrive.

She heard her guards approach from outside her tent and she knew her wait came to an end.

A guard entered her tent and nodded respectfully.

“ _Your prisoner is here, Heda._ ” the guard said.

Lexa just nodded and signaled for him to be brought in.

“ _Bring him in_!” the guard yelled. 

Not a moment later, the one who called himself Marcus was brought into the tent, with a bag on his head and with his hands tied in front of him.

“ _Untie him and take that off._ ” Lexa said.

The guards obeyed. As soon as they removed the cloth bag from his head, the _Skai_ person’s eyes darted all around him, calmly though. As if he was just simply taking in his surroundings. Then his eyes fell to Lexa.

They showed no hatred, or not even fear, as Lexa presumed they would. Instead they showed intrigue, curiosity, and a healthy amount of weariness.

These Sky people were very interesting indeed.

“ _Leave us_.” Lexa said. 

Lexa thought about waiting for Indra, who was currently scouting the camp and should’ve been making her way back by now, but she decided against it. 

She didn’t need a repeat of what happened when the one they called Clarke came to see Lexa. 

When the room emptied, Lexa just stared at the man, and the man stared back. With a softer gaze of course.

She could tell the man was fearful. If not for his life then for his people’s. But he did not waver.

He didn’t have a prideful demeanor.

For some reason Lexa envisioned the _Skai_ people to be an arrogant and hubristic group. They were from the sky after all. Who knew if they thought themselves as primodorials or angelic.

But from the _Skai_ person they captured, Murphy, said, what Lexa had seen from the _Ska_ i people, and what she saw in Marcus now, she knew that they were simply survivors.

Though Lexa was weary of what they would do to ensure of their survival.

Murphy had said that they killed people for anything at the Ark, that they couldn't afford to have any people that weren’t going to be useful to guaranteeing their survival.

Lexa wondered what they would do to ensure their survival this time.

“Marcus of the Sky People.” Lexa said finally.

“You have proven to be an honorable man. Maybe the best of your kind, so I will send you back to your people.” 

Marcus smiled.

An unfamiliar gesture to Lexa, especially during a matter this serious. 

“Thank you, very much Commander-”

Lexa held her hand up for him to stop, and he did, but had a puzzled look on his face.

“Do not thank me Marcus _kom Skaikru_ , for today your people will die.” Lexa said.

Marcus’ confused expression quickly shifted to a fearful one.

“I thought Clarke…” Marcus swallowed and regained his composure, or at least tried. 

“I thought Clarke managed to make a deal with you..at least that’s what people whispered.” Marcus said, adding on the second part when Lexa raised an inquisitive brow at his knowledge of Clarke’s visit.

“Clarke revealed to me that your people have a way to turn what we call Reapers, back to men. Doing this would help my people’s efforts in defeating the Mountain people.” 

Marcus eyebrows furrowed.

“I’m afraid I don't understand. From what you’ve said it seems like my people would be able to help you but we still don’t have any sort of alliance or deal?” Marcus asked.

“My people demand blood, for what your people did.” Lexa glowered.

“We cannot be all held accountable for the actions of a few!” Marcus said, in a louder voice then he should’ve. Once he realized what he had done he bowed his head down respectfully, in submissiveness.

Lexa waited a moment before she responded, giving the man a moment to collect himself. 

She found herself having respect for the man, and she didn’t want to have to kill him.

“I have offered you the last hours of your life Marcus of the Sky people. You have outlived your usefulness to me so I suggest you accept what is already decided before you lose your life now.” Lexa said firmly.

“But I am useful to you.” Marcus said when he raised his head. His calm demeanor seemed to be recovered.

“I can provide you insight on my people, show you that we are worthy of your mercy.”

“The one you call Murphy has already provided me with enough insight on your people. He seemed to believe himself that your people were not worth saving.” Lexa said.

  
  


Marcus looked at Lexa with confusion once again.

“Murphy? John Murphy?” he asked.

Lexa nodded.

“You can’t trust him. He is a criminal. In fact, they’re all criminals. Every person you and your people have encountered before my ship landed is a criminal. They do not represent the best of my people.” Marcus said hastily.

“So your leader, Clarke, is a criminal. Your people sent a criminal to represent them?” Lexa asked.

Marcus faltered for a second, and then he frowned and held his head low for a moment. 

As if he was ashamed.

“No. Clarke is not a criminal.” he said finally. “And she’s not our leader either. She’s just a child. They all are children.”

“Yet they all follow her. They chose her to come meet me. And she is your princess, is she not?”

“That is what my scouts have heard being said.” she added when she saw the man’s confusion.

Since they had landed, Lexa had made sure the group was watched at all times, and from the information she gathered, one thing was certain. Clarke was their leader and she was highly valued. But yet Marcus seemed bewildered by what Lexa just said. He was either a very good liar or was actually ignorant to what Lexa was saying. He claimed to be one of the leaders when they were in the sky, and was the leader for a short time when he and the rest of the people landed on the ground, but since then, either the leadership had changed or Marcus was lying.

“Clarke isn’t a princess.. Well not in the natural sense. She is the daughter of my people’s current leader, Abby Griffin.” Marcus explained.

“But she still has influence?” Lexa asked. Lexa wasn’t sure why she was inquiring so much about the _Skai_ Princess. Maybe it was because, to Lexa, she was intriguing.

She heard so many contradicting things about the girl.That she was a leader, a healer, a princess, a murderer. And countless other things. A part of Lexa wanted to find out what was true or not. Lexa would probably never find out given their two people were on the precipice of war.

Two things Lexa found to be undeniably true. One, was her beauty. They said that her hair was golden, and that her eyes were as blue as the lights in the Glowing Forest. They did not exaggerate.The second undeniably true fact Lexa came to know was that Clarke was a leader. She did not waver when she talked to Lexa, as if her life could not be taken on the spot she stood for killing 300 of Lexa’s warriors. Lexa knew she was scared,but she still held her head high, and presented her piece. She was bold too. She gambled her life and her friend’s based on another gamble, turning Lincoln back to a man. And she was impressive. She did prove what she said was true. She made Lincoln a man once again. She also apparently had escaped the Mountain with Anya, her mentor. Anya also had let Clarke live, which had meant something. But none of this mattered, none of this would stop the inevitable war between Lexa’s people and hers.

“Yes, yes I suppose she does.” Marcus frowned, obviously bothered by this. Lexa wondered why, but didn’t ask. She had to put an end to this pointless conversation.

“You want to save your people Marcus _kom Skaikru_ yet you offer me no way to do so.” Lexa said.

Marcus pondered this. Lexa let him think, curious to see if he would come up with a solution.

“We can give you the one who killed your people.” Marcus said, meeting Lexa’s eyes once again.

Lexa’s brow raised. Slightly surprised by his offer.

“Your people demand blood, well you can give it to them. Instead of a whole group suffering the mistakes one person made, let only one pay.” he continued.

Lexa thought this over.

She knew there might be some backlash and opposition to this solution, but it would result in some satisfaction from her people. Blood must have blood. And blood they would have. And Lexa needed the Sky people. As much as she hated to admit it. _Skaikru_ were more like the Mountain people than Lexa’s people, and they could use that against their common enemy. The Sky people have technology, and apparently knowledge of the inside of the Mountain thanks to Clarke. And now they could turn Reapers back to men. 

Lexa knew that she could benefit from an alliance, or at least a truce, with the Sky people.

“What is their name? The boy who slaughtered 18 innocent people.” Lexa said.

Marcus swallowed.

“Finn.” he said.

“Finn.” Lexa repeated. “And say I decided to take your offer to your leaders. You believe they would accept it? That they would hand this Finn over to my people, knowing that would mean his death.” 

Marcus nodded hesitantly.

“Abby might be reluctant at first but she would realize that this solution is the best one, and the only one really for our people.” Marcus said, with more confidence then he previously had.

“And what about Clarke?” Lexa asked.

Marcus stiffened slightly. Lexa knew she asked the right question.

“She does have a heavy influence on your people. And I know that this Finn was looking for Clarke when he killed 18 of my people, that he killed them in rage because he thought the village had taken her and killed her. I think I can safely deduce that she and he have some form of relations, and that she would oppose this solution. Correct?”

When Lexa had heard of the massacre, how the boy they called Finn was calling for Clarke as he slaughtered the people in Tondc, she didn’t know what to think. Lexa had in a way admired the influence Clarke had on her people, how she was a self-made leader. But in the case of Finn, that influence, the effect Clarke had on the boy, was alarming. She didn’t believe that it was Clarke’s fault. If she did she would have killed her on the spot. But she did believe Clarke was dangerous. Lexa didn’t know whether to acknowledge this and make use of it in their shared endeavor to take down the Mountain, or whether she should kill the _Skai Prisa_. Before the girl’s dangerous influence would mean Lexa or her people’s death.

Marcus remained silent. Lexa took his silence as a yes or the man just didn’t know.

“I dont know.” the man said honestly. “But Clarke is not our leader. Maybe she was before the rest of my people but not anymore. She cannot stop any decision made when it comes to Finn.”

” _Desperation is a dangerous thing.”_ Lexa said to the man. Of course he didn’t know what she said.

Lexa finally puts down the knife that she had absentmindedly been twirling the whole time. She stares down Marcus, and he still doesn’t waver. At a moment of silence, Lexa stands up, slightly startling the man before her.

“I have a meeting with Clarke after you leave Marcus of the Sky People. I will present this solution to her, and she will hold the fate of your people in her hands. Pray to your Gods that she will not be the cause of a war that she cannot win.”

  
  


**_Present Day_ **

And now here Lexa was, once again faced with the prospect of a war that could only be started by Clarke. She would’ve liked to say that this time, they were both on the same side, they were both fighting for the same things, peace. 

But she couldn’t say that. 

Clarke was no longer just Clarke. She was _Wanheda_. Lexa hoped that that was just a name for Clarke, that that wasn’t who she was because if it was then Lexa couldn’t imagine the Commander of Death wanting peace. She could imagine the Commander of Death wanting her head.

Lexa would fight for peace, fight to keep _Kongeda_ , but she knew she couldn’t do it without Clarke, without _Wanheda_. 

“ _Elders_ .” Lexa said before bowing deeply. She now stood before the Twelve Elders. The Council set in place for the Commander’s use to help in ways that the past Commanders could not. This was their purpose but Lexa knew that they were in a way, her superiors. Before she could even consider leaving Polis, seeking out Clarke, or calling for war against _Azgeda_ , she had to go to the Elders, who offered their guidance as if they were giving Lexa permission. They were more like a congress, made to keep the Commander on a tight leash. Lexa recognized the fact that it would seem more like a tyranny if the Elders were not around or if she refused to listen to them which is why she reluctantly listened to them. After all, the last time the Elders were not listened to, _Sheidheda_ unleashed his reign of terror.

Still, Lexa did not like bowing down to the group. The group of old men no less. But she respected tradition, she respected the ways of her people and she respected her responsibilities as the Commander. 

No matter how costly that was to Lexa.

“ _Lexa kom Trikru, you’ve called upon us claiming there is a matter of urgency. How may we guide you in ways the Commanders of the past cannot?”_ Absolem, the Head Elder, said. 

Lexa did not like his tone, or the fact that the Elder used Lexa’s name and not her formal title, but was careful to hide her scowl before she lifted her head from her bow.

“ _Earlier today, I received concerning news. There was a sighting of six Azgeda assassins in Trikru land. Kwin Nia has broken the terms of the Coalition._ ” Lexa said. 

The Elders, for once, had a brief look of panic, and whispered loudly among themselves in front of Lexa before Absolem called for Order.

“ _So you come to us asking if you should consider this as an act of war? If so then you should know that the Coalition has already weakened Lexa. Since your decision to welcome the Sky people into your Coalition, despite our advice, and the events that took place at the Mountain, the clans are on edge. War with the Ice Nation may not have the outcome you wish, the clans may not support you._ ” Absolem said.

Lexa’s jaw clenched. The clan leaders weren’t the only people questioning her leadership but the Elders too. They were punishing Lexa for not listening to them, for daring to not follow the guidance, or rather orders, that they gave to her.

“ _I have no intention in starting a war, only the intention to prevent one_.” Lexa said.

“ _And how do you intend to do that? Or is that what you called upon us to ask?_ ” Absolem said, not hiding the scoff behind his words.

“ _Wanheda.”_ Lexa said after a moment. She was more inclined to tell the Elders of Clarke because even though she had little love for them, they were sworn to secrecy and could only act in the interest of the Commander. She still would leave out the details though.

Lexa was not surprised when the usually calm and controlled group had surprised outburst at what Lexa had just said. It was sometimes hard for Lexa to believe though that just the mention of Clarke would cause so much disrest. Lexa’s people, everyone, now feared Clarke, or _Wanheda_ , for what she did at the Mountain. Something that Lexa’s people had never even gotten close to doing. Lexa didn’t share the same thoughts as everyone else did. She did not fear Clarke because she knew her. But, still, there was a part of Lexa that wondered if she should fear her.

“ _You’ve found her?_ ” one of the Elders asked.

“ _The Coalition will break!”_ another said.

“ _The sky people and Azgeda will lay waste on us!_ ”

“ _Silence!_ ” Absolem said, quieting the room.

After a moment, he looked back to Lexa. He looked at her differently this time, maybe with a hint of curiosity, or even intrigue. Lexa did not want to know what he thought was curious at this moment.

“ _You intend to use Wanheda in your plan to keep the peace?”_ Absolem asked.

Lexa nodded.

“ _And you have located her?_ ”

“ _I believe I know where she is heading, I intend to go find-”_

_“Absolutely not!”_ the Elder Sozun said. “ _You are the Commander, you cannot consider chasing after someone, especially when that someone is Wanheda. You will grab the attention of all the clans and your enemies in the process!”_

_“Sozun is right, Lexa.”_ Absolem said.

“ _I do not intend to make my mission known. I am supposed to be attending The Harvest Festival at Tondc that takes place in two days. This is the perfect guise for my mission. I will raise no suspicion.”_ Lexa said. The Elders mumbled, some in agreement and some in disapproval.

“ _And if you do find Wanheda, the one you betrayed at the Mountain, how will you use her to aid your plan?_ ” Absolem asked. Lexa did not flinch when the Elder mentioned her betrayal.

  
  
  


Lexa held her head up high. Prepared for the backlash that was going to come after she said what she was about to say.

“ _I will seek her help. Bring her into my cause to keep the peace_.” Lexa said.

  
  


_“You must strike her down!”_

_“Take her power!”_

_“Kill the Mountain Slayer!”_ the Elders shouted in objection.

Absolem held his hand up and called for order once again.

  
  


“ _Lexa kom Trikru.._ ” he said finally, gazing at the brunette, maybe in an attempt to intimidate her but she did not waver.

“ _What makes you think Wanheda will help you?_ ” Absolem inquired. 

“ _I know her. Wanheda acts in the best interest of her people and this is it. Clarke, like me, wishes for peace_.” Lexa internally berates herself for calling Clarke by her name and not her title. She can see that Absolem notices her slip, how he raises a brow when she says the girl's name.

The Elders talk amongst themselves for a period of time before turning back to Lexa.

“ _I tell you now that I and the rest of this council advise you not to seek out Wanheda. She is an uncontrolled force, one that you have already offended.”_ Absolem said.

Lexa stiffened.

“ _But,”_ Absolem continued, making Lexa’s heart beat faster in apprehensiveness

_“I know that despite our advice, you will still seek her out. I can only repeat the teachings of your Flamekeeper. Make your decisions with your head and not your heart. If Wanheda will not work with you then you must strike her down and take her power to prevent this war.”_

Lexa takes a sigh of relief, knowing that the Council had the power to make her stay. She wondered why they had decided not to, wondered if there was an ulterior motive to the Elders’ support. Lexa knows she cannot afford to ponder this though, she has more important things to attend to.

“ _Thank you._ ” Lexa said, bowing deeply before taking her leave.

She walked with haste down the halls. She would need to pack and assemble a group to head to Tondc by first light. 

“ _Heda_!” someone shouted from behind her. Lexa turned to see Rooke, one of her most trusted guards.

“I have a message for you.” he said as he jogged over to the waiting Lexa.

Lexa looked at the guard confused. He was not a messenger, not even a servant. He was a warrior.

“It’s important. From Indra.” Rooke said once he saw Lexa’s look.

“Follow me.” Lexa said, glancing at the curious looks of the people passing the two in the hall. She couldn’t help but be paranoid. For all she knew there was an _Azgeda_ spy in her court waiting to gain information that could prove Lexa as an unfit leader or worse, information to find Clarke and _Wanheda._

She takes him to her chambers, earning looks as she does so but she doesn’t care.

“What is it?” Lexa said as soon as Rooke closed the doors.

“Indra has found and captured the sixth assassin.” Rooke said. Lexa was relieved when he said this. Part of her thought that Rooke would’ve said they had captured or located Wanheda, both news that would’ve brought Lexa some relief to know that she was alive and well but the last thing she wanted was for Clarke to think she was being hunted by Lexa, well in a way she was, but she didn’t want Clarke to think it was for the same motives as Nia’s. Clarke had most likely arrived at Arkadia by now, hopefully not starting a war. She would have contacted Arkadia that she was coming, that she had an explanation and plan for the current events but she was afraid that if she did, she would scare Clarke away. Then Lexa might never find her again. Lexa was also mildly furious with Clarke’s people, or at least she would be if Clarke was indeed in Arkadia and they decided not to tell her. They were Lexa’s people now technically. She had gained their trust by letting them in her Coalition, providing them with the tools they needed to survive the winter, and had given them her personal protection. Of course Lexa had done all this for them for a somewhat selfish reason but they didn’t know that. All they knew now was that Lexa was the benevolent leader who gave them food and protection and allowed them autonomy. Yes, she gave them the right to self-govern, with limitations of course, but that had another selfish reason behind it. Lexa did not like being reminded of Clarke. No, not at all. She did not like being reminded of her betrayal, the weakness she displayed, and the weakness she felt every time someone reminded her of the blonde girl from the sky. So she opted to not be around _Skaikru_ by granting them their liberties and freedom. Of course, when she did have to show her face to them, she was faced by Clarke’s friends and mother, her mother who still not so secretly hated her along with some of Clarke’s friends. They were all reminders of Clarke. She never stopped searching for Clarke yet hated when someone mentioned her existence. It was a bit of a conundrum for Lexa. But now, things were clearer than ever. For the first time in three years Lexa had plausible hope that she would find Clarke. That she would find a way to make things right between the two of them, after Lexa convinced the girl to help her defeat Nia and save the Coalition of course.

“Where are they?” Lexa asked.

“The spy is being held at a site not too far from Tondc, away from prying eyes.” Rooke said.

Lexa nodded, taking in this information. Lexa refused to let her thoughts drift to the other five assassins, who had all somehow been murdered, and by Clarke’s hand as it seems. 

“Send a message through Skaikru's technology to Indra telling her I will be arriving at Tondc by noon tomorrow, make sure that it’s set to only the Trikru channel. Do not notify any other clan.” Lexa said, emphasizing her last words. She knew the clans including Skaikru knew that she was already attending the festival, but she didn’t want their leaders to get suspicious for arriving a day early. At this point, Lexa didn’t know where any of their loyalties lied.

Rooke nodded.

“Yes, _Heda_.” he said before turning to walk around.

“And Rooke,” Lexa said. The young guard turned back around. 

“Arrange a team to go with me. With you in it. Make sure they have your absolute trust.” Lexa said.

“Yes _Heda._ ” Rooke said.

When Rooke left, Lexa called for one of her handmaidens, Kylee. Lexa asked her to pack for enough clothes that would last her week. She wasn’t sure how long she would be at Tondc or Arkadia, it all depends how things went. She ignored Kylee’s confused looks, trying not to feed into the girl's obvious suspicion. Kylee had been her handmaiden since she became Commander. Lexa couldn’t say that they were close but Kylee knew Lexa better than most. She could obviously see the change in Lexa’s demeanor, the demeanor that she carried for three years now. Now she knew Kylee could see a certain determination and a glimmer of hope.

“ _Is everything okay, Heda._ ” Kylee asked.

“ _Everything is fine Kylee. Please have my travel items sent to my horse before dawn. That will be all._ ” Lexa said, relaxed as she could possibly sound.

As soon as Kylee left, another came in. One very angry Flamekeeper.

“Lexa, tell me what I hear from the ears of others is not true.” Titus said with a clenched jaw.

Lexa stood her ground. She was no longer the scared and innocent _Naitblida_ who could be berated and scolded by her Flamekeeper teacher.

“It is.” Lexa said firmly, with her head held high. Lexa didn’t even care to ask who told Titus. He had ears all around Polis, no doubt one of his spies came running to him as soon as Lexa had left the Elders.

Titus huffed angrily before he spoke. “Lexa I do not have to remind you of the dangers-”

“Then don't.” Lexa cut in. “I am your _Heda_ and I do as I please, I do not come to you with my every decision like I am a child.” Lexa reprimanded.

Titus bowed his head before he continued. “I do not wish to undermine you _Heda_. I only wish for your safety. I do not know why you plan to go to Tondc but I know that it is not just to attend the Harvest Festival. I fear that you are still trying to find _Wanheda_ -”  
  


“ _Wanheda_ is my concern, Titus. My safety is my concern. My business in Tondc is my concern. Your concern is to teach me, and advise me but on this I need no advice. I have done as you’ve wished for the past three years. I have stayed in this tower instead of doing as I pleased. I have been your obedient dog more than I have been a Commander but no longer Titus.” Lexa said she knew by the volume of her voice that she could be heard from the halls but she didn’t care. She was close to seeing red. She knew that Titus didn’t cause all her anger, he was just the unlucky person who it was directed to at the moment. But this was a rage that had been simmering, even before Clarke’s disappearance. 

“I do not mean to disrespect you _Heda_ and even though I advise against it, I will not stand in your way. But, I beg you to remember your teachings as you carry out whatever you wished to accomplish.” with that said, Titus bowed and left the room leaving Lexa in silence.

Lexa wasted no time in making the other necessary preparations for her travels. When the sun began to set, Lexa decided to go to bed, so that she would be refreshed and ready for her early travels. Though she could barely gain enough peacefulness to drift into a much needed slumber. Her thoughts were clouded, she was anxious, nervous, and uncertain.

She knew that she would find Clarke. That made her excited and scared at the same time.

But Lexa wondered if she should be more fearful than she was. Was it just Clarke that she was going to find? Or was it her vengeful deadly spirit.

_Wanheda._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Clarke eyes shot open.

Her eyes darted around the room she was in and she quickly realized that this place was unfamiliar.

She thought she had made it to Arkadia, she thought she saw Bellamy, but maybe that was the fever. 

She sat up, and took the nasal cannula and IV needle off and stood up from the bed. She stumbled a little bit, her legs feeling a bit numb. It wasn't that made Clarke falter though. It was the fact that the floor she touched was tile. 

Clarke began to panic.

It was Mount Weather all over again.

Now, it wasn’t just her life in danger.

Reyna. 

Clarke’s heart pounded out of her chest.

She surveyed her surroundings more clearly. It seemed like she was in a patient room. Similar to the one’s at the Ark. There were cabinets against the wall. 

She ran to them and threw them open, looking for anything sharp that she could use. Thankfully, she found a scalpel. It wasn’t her ideal weapon but she doubted whoever had taken her had left her with Ridian’s dagger.

Ridian.

No. Clarke refused to break down. She had Reyna to find. She had her people to warn.

The door opened and Clarke shot her eyes to it.

There stood a wide eyed male.

“Uh, you’re not supposed to be up.” he said.

Clarke didn’t wait for him to get another word out because in less than five seconds, she had the scalpel pressed against his throat.

“Where am I.” Clarke growled. 

She didn’t care how frazzled the male had looked. The pupils of his light brown eyes were so dilated that Clarke could see her mangy and disturbed reflection. He looked to be around Clarke’s age, maybe two or three years younger. No doubt he was a medical intern like Maya and herself. No doubt Clarke would have to kill him like Maya. She didn’t even care if he was innocent. This whole situation felt too familiar and Clarke would not stand for it. Not when she had more to lose now.

The male looked too scared to answer and only gave Clarke incomplete and incoherent sentences, giving Clarke no answers.

“Great.” Clarke said.

“Here’s what we’re going to do.” Clarke said in a dangerously low tone. The man closed his mouth and waited.

“We’re going to walk out of here, and you’re going to take me to your leader. Okay?” Clarke said. She knew she wanted to have Reyna in her arms, to know that she was safe, but she knew that Reyna was safe. She didn’t think whoever these people were would harm a two-year old. Not even Mount Weather would.

Besides, they also wouldn’t want to lose their only leverage over _Wanheda_.

So instead she would go to this place’s leader. Presuming he was like Cage or anyone else on Earth, the only way Clarke was going to get out of here with Reyna is if she killed their leader, sending the place into pandemonium, or if she threatened the leader’s life and bargained for Reyna’s and her own.

She probably would have to kill them in that option too.

The man nodded slowly, slightly restricted with the scalpel still against his throat.

“Good.” she grabbed the man’s arm and turned him around. She moved the scalpel to his back because the man was too tall for her to keep the scalpel at his neck. 

“Just because it isn’t at your neck anymore doesn’t mean I don’t know six other ways to kill you with it right here.” Clarke whispered, truthfully.

“Awesome.” The man said, in a higher octave.

“Open the door.” Clarke said.

The man carefully reached for his keycard that was pinned to the front pocket of his lab coat. 

Clarke said that it read Castillo. His last name most likely. It only mattered to Clarke in case things went awry and she had to barter this man’s life for her daughter’s. She hated that she thought this way. That the only reason she thought to learn this man’s name was so that she could know what name to shout out to his people when she was bargaining for her daughter’s life and her own.

But that was who she was now. 

And she could blame herself for that but she knew she had a couple other people she could place that on.

“Before you do this.. I wanted to let you know that this really not necessary-”

Clarke pushed the scalpel more into the man’s back.

“Open the door.” she demanded. In an icy and low turn. 

She could hear the man swallow as he reluctantly held his key card up to it’s reader. A light shined green. Clarke opened the door wider and held onto ‘Castillo’ as she pushed him out into the hallway first, in case anyone happened to be waiting there to shoot Clarke down. 

“Take me to your leader.” Clarke demanded.

“Clarke listen to me-”

“How do you know my name.” Clarke growled. 

Before he could answer, down the hall Clarke heard voices. As Clarke turned to meet their faces they saw hers. They were guards. Or at least they looked to be. Probably sent for Clarke who they must’ve somehow known she went missing. Clarke felt a sense of familiarity when she saw their faces but she pushed that thought down because now those guards were calling for backup, and now alarms were blaring, and now they were running towards Clarke.

“New plan.” she said to Castillo, who looked like he was having a mental breakdown.

“Run.”

And so they did. This place was a maze Clarke realized. They ran until they were faced with a door. Now Clarke was getting a real sense of deja vu, but she was too panicked to place where she had seen that door before. Why the whole place had traces of a distance past.

“Open the door.” Clarke said to Castillo, who was heaving after all the running they did.

“Before I do...I really have to tell you something-” Castillo breathed out.

“Open the damn door!” Clarke said with a desperate look in her eyes.

The type of desperation one should be scared of when it came from Clarke.

The type of desperation that made her kill over 300 people.

Now she was desperate because she was going to lose the one thing that still mattered in her life.The only person in her life.

Reyna.

Clarke didn’t know what level of desperation she would reach when it concerned Reyna. She didn’t want to know.

And apparently Castillo didn’t want to know either. He saw the look of desperation in her eyes and decided to open the doors. 

When the doors did slide open, when those doors she had been so familiar with for most of her life released an airy sound when they slid open, she knew where she was.

And if she didn’t recognize that,then she certainly recognized the faces before her.

Especially one.

“Mom?”

  
  


  
  
  
  



	4. Bad Omens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I wrote a note at the end this time..

It was noon when Lexa and her group arrived at Tondc.The crowd of people cheered as they welcomed their Heda and Lexa tried her best to not look exhausted as she addressed the crowd from on top of her horse. The journey had been more difficult than Lexa had thought it would be. They left Polis at dawn as intended but in the early hours of the morning they encountered heavy rain, cold rain. Despite Rooke’s hesitancy and insistence that they stop and wait for the weather to pass, Lexa decided that they would push through it. They couldn’t afford to stop. Lexa couldn’t afford to stop. It was only Clarke that was on her mind but also the fear of a war with _Azgeda._ Lexa didn’t fear war, but rather the consequences of them. She had lost Costia because of war, and now she could lose the Coalition, she could lose peace amongst the 13 Clans.

As Lexa dismounted her horse, she was approached by Indra, and behind her Octavia, who looked none too pleased to see the Commander.

Octavia was basically a stranger to Lexa. A stranger she had ordered to be killed and had left for dead, twice, but a stranger nonetheless. Lexa regretted no decisions when Octavia. She wasn’t anything to Lexa but an unwanted casualty of war. But she also was Clarke’s friend. Which was the only reason Lexa allowed Indra to take her back as her second. Octavia did prove herself to be a good warrior, and remained loyal by Indra’s side. Only loyal to Indra though. She still held contempt for Lexa. She didn’t mind Octavia hating her but Lexa still remained wary of the Sky girl. A constant in the Sky people was that they let their emotions rule over them and Octavia was not exempt from this. Lexa knew this by just looking at the disdain on Octavia’s face at that current moment. Lexa’s eyes averted to Indra, who approached Lexa with her usual confident warrior demeanor, but in her eyes there was wary. The same wary that Lexa would probably find in her reflection. Indra was not a fearful person. She was a warrior, the best of them. But, she was also smart, and she knew that in this war, it wouldn’t just end with Lexa or Nia dead. It might be the start of the Dark Days on Earth.

“ _Heda_.” Indra said as she bowed her head respectfully. Behind Indra, Octavia reluctantly did the same.

“ _Take their bags, feed their horses, and show them their tents!_ ” Indra commanded the guards behind her. They did as they were told and as all of Lexa’s group went with them, Rooke stayed behind, standing next to Lexa protectively.

“Go ahead and rest Rooke. I’ll be fine. Indra and I have much to discuss.” Lexa said to her loyal guard.

“As you wish _Heda_.” Rooke said before walking away, eyeing Octavia as he does.

Lexa turned her attention back to Indra.

“Is there anywhere we can talk...privately.” Lexa said, sending a quick glance to the glowering Sky girl behind Indra. Lexa didn’t know what Octavia knew. She assumed that Indra would’ve told her about the assassins since that would be hard to keep from her shadowing second, but she didn’t know if Octavia knew about Clarke, and that Lexa was going to Arkadia in search of her.

Lexa knew Octavia’s loyalties were to Indra and _Trikru,_ but part of Octavia’s loyalties still resided in Arkadia. With her brother Bellamy and her beloved Lincoln, who preferred to live amongst the Sky people rather than live with his own. And not to mention her loyalties to Clarke.

If Octavia knew about Clarke and that Lexa was coming for her then she may have already alerted Arkadia and Clarke could be gone.

“Don't worry, I’m not gonna alert the media that Clarke’s back and you’re after her.” Octavia scoffed.

“ _Quiet Octavia_.” Indra snapped. Octavia bowe her head submissively but still kept her scowl.

“She does not mean to be disrespectful _Heda_ , she is just on edge because of recent events. So much that she has forgotten her place.” Indra said to Lexa but directed her scolding to Octavia.

“I told her what has come about Heda, but she is loyal to Trikru and you. She will not reveal anything to anyone she should not.” Indra said to Lexa, directly this time.

Lexa looked to Octavia again.

Every Commander bone in her body told her that Octavia was a threat. She was an unknown variable. But she knew if she eliminated that threat then several more problems would arise.

Bellamy for one. Who had somewhat taken over for Clarke as the leader of the delinquents. The remaining 100 that were loyal to Clarke and Bellamy. Lexa knew that if she killed Octavia then Bellamy would rally the delinquents and raise Hell for Lexa. She could defeat them eventually of course but the way Bellamy and Clarke’s people fought, they would not go down without a fight. A fight that Lexa did not need, especially right now.

And then there was Clarke.

Lexa knew that if she killed Octavia then there was no way she would win back Clarke’s trust and at the same time, she would lose Wanheda. Her only way to end the rising troubles with minimal to no bloodshed.

“Very well,” Lexa said finally, looking back to Indra who let a look of relief pass on her face.

“Let us head to my quarters. We have much to discuss.”

_**1 hour ago, Before Clarke wakes up** _

Bellamy stared at the sky above him.

“It’s going to storm.” he said, finally. After almost twenty minutes of silence.

“And Clarke’s here.” Lincoln said, as he sharpened his sword.

They were in the training grounds, where they had been clashing swords since they had gotten off their shifts. Bellamy threw his all in the training so he could get that one thought out of his mind. Clarke was here. With a baby no less. But that was a can of worms that Bellamy didn’t have the mind space to open right now.

It wasn’t her return that bothered him, but why she returned.

“My mom used to tell me stories about the Greeks and Romans. She said when it stormed on Earth, it was a bad omen. It meant that Zeus was pissed off.” Bellamy said, ignoring Lincoln’s previous comment.

Lincoln stopped cleaning his gun, and looked at Bellamy curiously.

“You think that Clarke’s return is a bad omen?” Lincoln asked.

“No.” Bellamy said, turning to his friend, finally breaking his stare with the gloomy, dark above.

“I think whatever brought her back is the bad omen.” Bellamy said.

“So you are upset that Clarke is back.” Lincoln concluded.

“I couldn’t be more happy that Clarke is back, Lincoln. But she didn’t wake up yesterday and decided to come back home after three years. Something happened. I know Clarke. She’s back because something is going on.” Bellamy said.

“You are overthinking it. You don't want to focus on the fact that Clarke is back so you are trying to find other things to focus on.” Lincoln said.

Bellamy shook his head frantically at Lincoln’s words.

“That’s bullshit. You saw Clarke. She passed out and she came in with fresh cuts and bruises. Something happened out there. And on Trikru lands.” Bellamy said. He added his last words with a hint of suggestion to what Clarke’s injuries meant. But he didn’t say the words. Those dangerous words.

Lincoln caught on to Bellamy’s insinuations, and placed his gun down carefully.

“If something was going on, Octavia would let us know.” he said lowly.

“Really? Tell me something, when’s the last time you’ve talked to my little sister?” Bellamy asked, fully knowing the answer.

The last time Bellamy or Lincoln had seen Octavia was when she visited two months ago..that visit did not end well.

“It does not matter. She would still let us know if Arkadia was in danger.” Lincoln insisted calmly.

“See I would love to believe that Lincoln but Octavia doesn’t belong to “ _Skaikru_ ” anymore..she’s with your people. And if you honestly believe nothing is wrong, then why is the Council meeting right now and talking about Clarke.” Bellamy said.

Lincoln glared at Bellamy, but Bellamy held his ground.

Bellamy’s friend relented and sighed.

“What’s the plan?” Lincoln said begrudgingly.

“We go to Abby.” Bellamy said, slightly pleased at his friend’s support, even if it was reluctant.

“We tell her we want to scout the sector. You, me, Miller, and someone else. We won't engage, but just report back and tell what we find.” Bellamy said.

“And what do you expect to find?” Lincoln asked.

“I don’t hope to find anything. I hope you’re right Lincoln. That I’m being paranoid. But my gut is telling me something is wrong. And until Clarke wakes up, we won’t know, and I rather not find out when it’s too late.” Bellamy said.

Lincoln nodded after a moment.

“Okay, fine. We’ll go to Abby.” Lincoln said standing up.

“But I’m not the one whose interrupting that Council meeting.”

When Bellamy told Abby their plan, he expected a lector or an “Are you out of your mind?!”, but instead he got a-

“What do you need to be out within the next hour.”

“Wait..you’re serious?” Bellamy asked.

Abby looked into the Council room they were standing in front of and then looked back to Bellamy.

“They want to give her up.” Abby said.

Bellamy’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“Who? Clarke?” Bellamy asked, raising his voice a little in concern.

“Keep your voice down!” Abby whispered. “They think the Grounders want Clarke. They want to give her up to the Commander because they’re afraid of a war.” Abby said.

Bellamy’s eyes widened with realization.

“The deal. With the Commander. You have to tell her that Clarke is here. Is that what this was the whole time? She just wants to kill Clarke? Why?” Bellamy pushed.

“I don't know.” Abby said honestly. “But what I do know is that I’m trying my best to hold off on contacting the Commander, but the Council is restless and scared. That’s why I need you to go and be my eyes and ears. So I’m asking you again. What do you need to be out within the next hour?” Abby asked.

Bellamy could see the determination in Abby’s eyes. Or maybe that was desperation, or fear. All wrapped into one.

“Guns and radios.” Bellamy said.

Abby nodded.

“Go to Raven. Tell her I sent you. You need to move quickly.” Abby said.

Bellamy nodded, and began to turn but stopped to turn.

“How...How is she?” Bellamy asked.

Abby blinked at Bellamy’s question. As if her guard had fallen.

“Her vitals are low. She has some type of fever. It’s unfamiliar to us.” Abby said, dropping her head slightly.

“Clarke will be fine. She’s a survivor.” Bellamy said, repeating the words that he had been replaying in his mind for the last seven hours.

Abby nodded.

“The baby..” Abby said.

“Is it okay?” Bellamy asked.

Abby nodded again. “She’s fine..she's fine... but..”

“Clarke will tell us everything when she wakes up. Everything will turn out fine Abby. Clarke’s home. Everything will be fine.” Bellamy said.

But Bellamy didn’t really believe his own words. He tried with all his might to convince himself that they were true, but he already knew the truth.

He could feel it.

Clarke coming home was a bad omen. It was a sign that something bad was coming.

Bellamy just didn’t know if that bad thing was Clarke, or something else.

When Bellamy went to Raven, he received the interrogation he thought he would get from Abby.

“Uh huh.” Raven said slowly, after Bellamy said him and a group were going hunting.

“I thought we had enough food to not go hunting for at least another three weeks.” Raven said.

“Apparently not.” Bellamy shrugged.

“Uh huh.” Raven said again.

“And instead of just going to the gun and radio checkout like usually, Abby, the Chancellor, sent you to me personally. For a hunting trip.” Raven said.

“Look if you’re done interrogating me Raven, I really need those guns and radios.” Bellamy said, trying to play off his suspiciousness as best as he could, but Raven was not having it.

“Oh yeah sure. Once you tell me what you’re really planning.” Raven said, crossing her arms, defiantly.

Bellamy glared at the unbothered Raven.

“Trust me when I have all day Bellamy. One thing us cripples learn is patience.” Raven said, leaning back in her chair.

Bellamy clenched his jaw and let out a heavy sighed.

“It’s none of your business Raven.” Bellamy said.

“But I think it is.” Raven said, sitting up suddenly. “I think that you’re going out there because of Clarke. Something’s going on and I want to know. I’m not asking Bellamy. Me and you may not be as close as I thought we were but Clarke, despite all she’s done, is my best friend. So it is my business and I want to know.” Raven said.

Bellamy could see the furiousness in Raven’s eyes. But also the same look Abby had in hers. Desperation, fear, and determination.

“The grounders.” Bellamy said finally. “We think they want Clarke.”

Raven blinked and looked to have lost her train of thought.

“But the Commander..”

“Is probably the number one person looking for her.” Bellamy said.

Raven laughed, with no actual humor behind it.

“Of course she is.” Raven said, with hate behind her words. It was no secret that Raven hated the Commander. Bellamy didn’t know how to feel about her. She had betrayed them all. Left them to die at the Mountain. But Bellamy couldn’t say that he would choose differently if he was in her situation. And for more than the last two years, the Commander had helped Arkadia, in more ways than one. But now, it seemed like all of the good treatment they were getting from her was because she wanted one thing.

Clarke.

But Bellamy would not let her take Clarke.

“Take all the guns you need.” Raven said, gesturing to the closed door across the room. “And here are your radios.” Raven said, setting a container full of the radios on the table in front of Bellamy.

“Do you need a Rover?” Raven asked.

Bellamy shook his head.

“We have to move quietly.” he said.

Raven nodded.

The two just looked at each other for a moment.

“We can’t let anything happen to her Bellamy.” she said.

“I know. I won't.”

**Present time**

“Mom..” Clarke said again. Can’t believing what she was seeing in front of her. She couldn’t believe anything she was seeing really. She didn’t pay attention to the other people in the room. Only briefly acknowledging Marcus was there but nothing else. She was too confused. Utter confusion consumed Clarke.

She was so confused that it was nauseating.

Or maybe that was the poison.

Now that she thought about it, she was feeling quite lightheaded. Even more so when the brunette woman turned around to meet Clarke’s gaze, matching her confusion but also relief.

“Clarke..” the woman whispered softly, her voice breaking slightly. When that voice hit Clarke’s ears, she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She surged forward into the woman’s arms and breathed in the familiar aroma that she never thought she would be around again. Tears escaped Clarke’s eyes as the woman hugged her back. She didn’t know if her mother would hug her back, or stand to be around her after all she had done.

“Mom.” Clarke repeated. She became the vulnerable little girl that Clarke thought died after her time on Earth.

When she pulled back, Clarke met her mother’s eyes. She too was tearful but had a bright smile on her face. Something Clarke had suspected hadn’t graced her mother’s face in a long time. And that was her fault.

“What’s going on?” Clarke asked, pulling herself back into reality. Even though Clarke’s stomach churned and her head was spinning, she had to ground herself. She broke eye contact with her mother and looked at the nervous faces around her. Her mother was talking to her but she wasn’t listening. There were so many unfamiliar faces that it was unsettling. It made Clarke want to grab Reyna and run.

Reyna.

“Where’s Reyna.” Clarke asked suddenly, apparently interrupting her mother’s words.

“Who? Wait the two year old you came in with?” Her mother asked, confused.

“There she is!”

Clarke’s head turned to the door that had just opened to see a dozen guards entering the room.

Pointing their guns directly at her.

Clarke didn’t know what to do here. In the three years she had been gone, she learned how to dodge sword strikes, not bullets.

“Stand down!” Her mother said. She repeated that statement multiple times before all the guards dropped their guns with hesitancy.

“Mom..where’s Reyna.” Clarke repeated. It was the only clear thing that was on her mind. There were too many things going on. Too many guns, too many people, too many thoughts, and only one Clarke. One Clarke who was about to puke her guts out.

Her mother looked back at her with confusion again, as if not fully registering what she had just said.

Had Clarke spoken a different language? It was highly possible because Clarke had no idea what was happening.

“Abby, we should take this elsewhere.” Clarke heard Marcus say to her mother.

Her mother nodded and looked back to Clarke.

“Clarke, let’s-”

“Take me to Reyna!” Clarke yelled out with all the strength she had. Clarke had no idea why she had yelled. Maybe out of fear. Because she had zero control of this situation and the world was slowly looking less clear to Clarke.

Clarke began to lose her balance, as everything started to spin. Or maybe it was just Clarke spinning.

“Stand down!” she heard her mother repeat again, but her voice sounded muffled.

“Where’s Reyna..” Clarke mumbled out before she hit the cold floor.

And then everything went black.

It began to rain again once Lexa, Indra, and Octavia entered Lexa’s quarters. She could hear the heavy raindrops clash with the metal that the Sky people had used to build the structure. The sound was somewhat distracting to Lexa. It took her back to the last time she was in Tondc in the same weather. When the Mountain men had dropped their missiles on the village causing it to be nearly destroyed and in the midst of all the chaos, Lexa and Clarke stood side by side and lifted the spirits of Lexa’s people by promising them vengeance and war.

Now, so many things were different.

Now Tondc was rebuilt, with the Sky people’s help, and there was only peace. Well, in this present moment. Now Clarke wasn’t by Lexa’s side but basically a ghost and a fugitive, if one could even be both at the same time. And now Lexa stood in Tondc not with the mindset to fight a war but to prevent one. Now Clarke was different.

Oh how things change.

“Where is the assassin?” Lexa asked, forcing herself out of her reminiscing thoughts.

“They are being held outside the village. Only a short distance away. Would you like for me to escort you there?” Indra asked.

Lexa shook her head. “Later. We have things that need to be discussed now.” the Commander said.

“I have talked to the Elders. I sought their advice and they decided it would be wise for me to come and find _Wanheda_.” Lexa said to Inra and Octavia, slightly stretching the truth of the outcome of her meeting with the Elders. The Elders did not approve of her coming to find Clarke, but thanks to Absolem they did not stop her. His supportiveness still made Lexa suspicious but that was only one of many things on Lexa’s mind.

“Forgive me but I do not understand _Heda_. If you left Polis to find _Wanheda_ then why are you here?” Indra asked.

“I wanted to first interrogate the assassin you have apprehended. But also because Nia has turned her intentions to _Wanheda_ , so I can only assume so have others who wish to possess the power in her title. If I openly traveled with the intention to find _Wanheda_ then it would prove to our enemies that she would live and it would be a race to find her. A race I have no intention to compete in.” Lexa said.

Indra nodded with understanding.

“So you have located _Wanheda_?” Indra asked hesitantly.

Lexa didn’t answer her. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Indra but she couldn’t just say that Clarke was in Arkadia, maybe. That wasn’t an answer that Lexa wouldn’t take seriously herself. Lexa was also still wary of Octavia. She didn’t know what the Sky girl would do if Lexa revealed this information. The warrior stood in the corner, leaning against the wall in silence, and listening. And maybe even plotting

“She’s in Arkadia.” Octavia said, breaking her silence. It wasn’t a question, but a statement.

“How do you know this?” Lexa asked uneasily. She slowly moved her hand to the hilt of her sword, ready for anything that the girl would do next.

Confusion and alert was shown on Indra’s face as she too waited for Octavia’s explanation.

“Because I know Clarke.” Octavia said, pushing herself from off the wall. All of Lexa’s alertness didn't dissipate. She was partly dissatisfied with Octavia’s answer.

She too thought that Clarke would have traveled to Arkadia but she made that deduction with logic, well, mostly. Lexa traced Clarke’s movements based on the report of her siting and saw that it was in the same direction as Arkadia was. The rest was just Lexa hoping that Clarke decided to return to her home and actually made it. But Octavia made her deduction with no actual logic. Just that she knew Clarke. Lexa knew Clarke, but she still didn’t have the same certainty of Clarke’s location as Octavia did.

“Explain.” Lexa said firmly. She decided to let go of her weapon, for now. But she was still ready.

“Clarke is alot of things but she isn’t stupid. She knows for certain now that she’s being hunted and she knows that it’s a matter of time till she gets caught so of course she’s gonna run home where they have a big gate and guns to protect her. We just better hope that she’s not rallying an army while she’s there.” Octavia scoffed.

“You believe that _Wanheda_ has the intention of starting a war.” Indra stated, not asked.

“All I’m saying is that we don’t even know if Clarke knows that those assassins were _Azgeda_. She could’ve gone to Arkadia screaming grounder and they might assume that it was Trikru. Even if she did know it was _Azgeda_ she might just call for war against the whole Earth. Judging by how bloodthirsty she’s been lately.” Octavia said. Lexa didn’t know if Octavia was referring to the fall of the Mountain or the dead assassins that Clarke left. Or both.

“Clarke is not one who seeks war.” Lexa said, using Clarke’s name and not her title for the first time in the conversation.

“Old Clarke, maybe. But we don’t know what we’re dealing with now.” Octavia shrugged.

Lexa narrowed her eyes at the Sky girl, slightly puzzled by the indifference that she held for Clarke in this conversation. Or maybe it wasn’t indifference, but contempt. Which confused Lexa even more considering that the two were friends. Or they were.

“My second is right _Heda_. We do not know what we are dealing with. You may be walking into a trap when you arrive in Arkadia. If you are to go, then you should go with an army, demanding for _Wanheda._ ” Indra said.

Lexa considered what Octavia and Indra suggested. If they were right, it would explain the silence from Arkadia. How they neglected to notify Lexa of Clarke’s arrival, if she was indeed there. And now, Lexa was almost certain she was. A part of Lexa had to consider that Octavia and Indra were right. That they didn’t really know Clarke anymore. That Clarke may be starting a war in Arkadia at this very moment. But the other part of Lexa would not let go of the Clarke she knew and..the Clarke that she knew. That part refused to believe that Clarke had changed that much. That the girl she knew had abandoned the most fundamental parts of herself. The part that craved for peace and the safety of her people.

Now, once again, Lexa was faced with making a decision with her head or her heart. But it couldn’t be that simple. With Clarke it was never that simple. Maybe there was just a right and wrong. Maybe the wrong thing to do was to listen to the Commanders of the past who craved war and bloodshed. Maybe the right thing to do was the harder option. To risk everything, and have faith in Clarke, something she failed to do when they last saw each other. Maybe if she had made the harder decision, to have faith and stand by Clarke, then Lexa wouldn’t be facing her current problems. Lexa would not make the same mistake twice.

“No.” Lexa said, with a firm authoritative tone.

“I will travel to Arkadia and I will convince _Wanheda_ to join my cause to prevent war. If the Clans see us united, if they see _Wanheda_ bow before me, then peace may last.” Lexa said.

Lexa heard a loud snort from the corner of the room.

“Is there something you wish to say,Octavia.” Lexa said, slowly turning her hard gaze to the Sky girl.

“Octavia.” Indra hissed.

Lexa raised her hand to Indra, motioning for her to stop. She kept her eyes trained on the warrior before her.

“If Octavia has something to say then let her say it. Speak freely.” Lexa said, unnaturally calm. The Sky girl obviously had something she had been waiting to say, perhaps for longer than the short hour Lexa had been here today.

“I think your plan sucks.” Octavia said finally. She uncrossed her arms and huffed as if she had been waiting to say what she was about to say for a very long time.

“I think that even though you somehow won the hearts of everyone in Arkadia, Clarke isn’t big on forgiveness and the last thing she’ll do is help your Coalition not fall and keep you from losing your head. I think that even if you hadn’t betrayed her then she still wouldn’t help you because Clarke doesn’t give a damn about the people outside or inside of the gates of Arkadia considering she abandoned us for three years and that’s because the only thing Clarke gives two shits about is herself. I think that even if you do somehow gotten Clarke to work with you, your Coalition would still fall because people want leaders who they can trust and rely on and you and Clarke-”

“Choose your next words very carefully, Octavia of the Sky people.” Lexa said venomously.

Their eyes remained on eachother. There was an unwavering amount of determination in the other girls eyes. Something that Lexa respected. Determination and resilience was always something that Lexa found herself admiring in the Sky people. But that same determination, the same will that powered them to never stand down could be considered reckless. And Octavia was as reckless as they come.

Lexa then noticed the shimmering in Octavia’s eyes, and the pinkness on the girl's nose. Then she noticed how heavy the girl's breathing was, how angry she looked. Angriness that Lexa realized wasn’t reserved for her.

But for Clarke.

Lexa could see that clearly now. Lexa recalled the hurt in the girl’s voice when she said Clarke abandoned “us”, not just the people of Arkadia who Octavia claimed to not belong to no longer. The younger girl had obviously felt abandoned and hurt by Clarke, and now she was projecting that anger onto Lexa. The nearest and most suitable target. Lexa couldn’t blame Octavia for her anger. She too was angry. She had often tried to push down the anger she had for Clarke, telling herself it wasn’t justified since Lexa was the cause of it but during the three years that Clarke was gone, that anger had made its appearances.

So Lexa knew exactly how Octavia felt. But because she was the Commander, she couldn’t sympathize, or even let Octavia’s loaded outburst slide.

“You may be right Octavia,” Lexa said finally. Confusion fell on the younger's face.

“But you should hope that you are not, because if you are, war with the Ice Nation will be the least of your problems. If Clarke fails to submit and make peace with me then Arkadia will have war. A war that they’ll be facing against the rest of the Clans or me personally.”

“And you Octavia of the Sky people,” Lexa said, stepping a foot forward to the younger girl.

“You will not join your people in their deaths but you’ll be forced to watch from the sidelines as you watch everything you love and know die. So you should pray to your Gods that Clarke and I do not fail in keeping the peace because it’s the only thing that is keeping your people alive.” Lexa said, now only a foot away from Octavia.

Octavia swallowed thickly. The younger’s jaw was clenched and tightened, and tears threatened to spill from her eyes but she still stood her ground.

Lexa stood her ground too.

She would not kill Octavia for her disrespectfulness. That would only put a hindrance in Lexa’s plan, but she also would not tolerate her disrespect and anger. Especially when it was not meant for her.

“We will go and interrogate the assassin, then we will head to Arkadia. You along with Indra will accompany me, Octavia of the Sky people. Then, if my plan fails, you will get to say your last goodbyes.” Lexa said, causing Octavia to swallow once again.

Lexa turned to Indra, breaking eye contact with Octavia that seemed to give Octavia some relief. Lexa could tell by the sharp sound of air Octavia let out once Lexa was no longer facing her.

“Indra. Tell Rooke and the rest of my party to get ready. We leave within the hour.” Lexa said.

“Yes _Heda_.” Indra said. Before she left the room, she looked at Octavia with worry but did her best not to show it.

Lexa turned back to the girl before her.

“You should get ready Octavia. We have a long journey ahead of us.” Lexa said to the girl.

“Yes _Heda_.” Octavia said softly, bowing her head slightly as she did. She swiftly moved towards the door with her head hung low but her fist clenched.

“And Octavia.” Lexa said, causing the girl to stop. Lexa turned back to face the girl once again. She wanted to look into the girls eyes when she said this.

“Yes _Heda_.” Octavia said, turning around, reluctantly.

Lexa’s face showed no anger, no emotion at all really. She needed no emotion to have her intended effect. She just needed the Sky girl to hear the trueness in the words she was about to say.

“The next time you speak to me in that way Octavia _of the Sky people_ ,”

“You will lose your tongue.”

Lexa held the blonde’s watch in her hand. Anxiously fiddling with it as if it would somehow summon her. They were on their way to interrogate the assassin, and with each passing minute, it became more clear that a storm was coming. Much worse than the one Lexa and her group encountered during their travels to Tondc. Even Lexa’s horse seemed to realize it. The steed seemed jittery, and neighed sometimes for no particular reason. The horse probably thought it’s rider was foolish, and was persistently trying to warn Lexa that unknown things lied ahead. And unknown things were dangerous things.

Lexa knew that she was heading into a trench of unknown things. But it didn’t matter. As Commander, Lexa had responsibilities. Responsibilities that she may have ignored for too long. The Elders may not have said it but she knew that they blamed her for the problems with Azgeda, and Clarke, and other problems that they seemed fitting to blame on Lexa. And Lexa couldn’t help but think that it was all Lexa’s fault. That she let Azgeda work behind her back while Lexa was too saddened and angry about Clarke. That Clarke’s life was in danger now because Lexa had basically given up on finding her. That she wouldn’t be in danger in the first place if Lexa hadn’t left her at that cursed Mountain.

And that wasn’t all that Lexa could blame herself for. If she was left to her thoughts then she could come up with more, but Lexa couldn’t do that. She could only accept it. She could only move forward, because that’s what a Commander must do. She couldn’t have regrets or think about what ifs because she had to face reality.

Cold, vicious, dangerous reality.

“ _Heda! We are here!”_ Rooke yelled out.

They approached a shack. A remnant from the past considering it was covered with rusted metal.

Lexa put her best guarded expression when she dismounted her horse and approached the shack, with the rest of her group not too far behind. Lexa heard a noise in the trees and bushes to the right of her which she looked to investigate but saw nothing. She wrote it off as the rustling from the winds of the upcoming storm.

In front of the shack stood two guards. They probably had no idea who or what they were guarding.

“ _You are relieved._ ” she said to both of them.

“ _Yes Heda_.” they both said as they slightly bowed before going off to their own horses.

Once they left, Lexa opened the doors.

In the center of the rooms, in chains, was a brunette woman. Her skin was not pale like most of the people from _Azgeda_ ’s cold lands, or at least it didn’t look to be but Lexa couldn’t tell exactly because the assassin’s face was covered in blood. Indra’s doing no doubt. She must’ve been an experienced assassin for Queen Nia. Rarely in the lands of _Azgeda_ because she was too busy elsewhere. The assassin looked terrible. She was most likely dehydrated and starved, Lexa could tell by the sickly look the assassin had on her.

“ _Bring water, and food.”_ Lexa commanded to whoever was listening.

“ _But Heda-”_ Indra tried.

Lexa shot her a look.

Indra clenched her jaw and then with reluctance, told one of the guards to fetch food and water.

Lexa turned back to the assassin before her and remained eye contact with her before the guard returned with the food.

“ _Remove the tie from her mouth and give her the food and water._ ” Lexa said to the guard.

He did what he was told and Lexa was surprised to see the assassin not refuse the food out of pride. Instead, she showed no restraint and ate the food before her. She was a survivor, Lexa realized.

And survivors were not the prideful sort. They would do anything to survive. With this knowledge, Lexa knew this assassin may be useful.

“ _Where did you find her?_ ” Lexa asked Indra, but still did not break her eye contact from the assassin, who paid no mind to Lexa or anything else that wasn’t the food before her.

“ _We caught her running, trying to flee to Oskejon Kru lands._ ” Indra said, mumbling something that sounded like “coward”.

So Lexa’s suspicions were confirmed. This assassin was a survivor. One with no loyalties, or no ties. This, Lexa could use.

“ _What is your name assassin?”_ Lexa asked, circling the other woman.

“ _I am no assassin._ ” the assassin spat out, speaking for the first time since Lexa got here.

“ _You entered my lands to kill Wanheda. Is this not something an assassin would do?” Lexa asked._

The assassin said nothing to this.

“ _Perhaps you are not an assassin._ ” Lexa said, placing her hands behind her back.

“ _Maybe you are a spy. Not a very good one since you have been caught, but also not a very loyal one._ ” Lexa continued.

She could see the spy stiffen slightly at Lexa’s words.

“ _You failed your assignment to kill Wanheda, and instead of rectifying the mistakes of your fellow spies and assassins, you sought to flee my lands… Flee from your beloved Queen’s grasp._ _Maybe you’re not an assassin or a spy. Just a traitorous coward.”_

The spy growled and spat at Lexa’s feet, causing everyone but Lexa’s sword to unsheath.

“ _You dare such disrespect! This is your Heda-”_

“ _I know who she is, and that she is not my Heda.”_ the spy snarled. “ _And she dares speak of cowardness and disloyalty as if we all do not know what happened in the Mountain.”_ the spy said, addressing the room. She then looks back at Lexa.

“ _I was there. In the mountain. And I saw the treachery you have caused. You blame Queen Nia for the slow destruction of your Coalition, but it is yourself that you should blame. When you walked away from the Mountain you made it possible for Wanheda to rise. You created her. You are the reason that we were sent for her.”_ the spy said.

Indra approached the spy with her sword dragging behind her.

“ _You will die, spy for your false words and loyalties!_ ” Indra growled.

The spy looked to Indra, as if she really wasn’t a threat. As if she knew what Lexa was about to do.

“ _Enough._ ” Lexa said, causing the spy to look at Indra smugly.

From the corner of her Lexa could see Indra looking at the Commander incredulously, silently asking why Lexa would spare this spy’s life when people had been killed for less. She did want to kill the spy. For multiple reasons in fact. But Lexa had something else in mind.

“ _We are not taking the spy’s life.”_ Lexa said, much to the spy’s liking.

 _“We will take her with us to Arkadia, where she will serve as proof of Azgeda’s treachery. There, she will be interrogated and the value of her life will be reevaluated.”_ Lexa said, causing the spy’s smugness to drop from her face.

“ _Tie her back up. We leave now for Arkadia_.” Lexa said before exiting the room.

She looked up to the sky once stepped outside. She saw the swirling grey clouds and felt the chilling tempestuous winds. A storm was coming.

“There are two meanings for a storm.” Indra said, coming beside the Commander.

“It means that a gift to the people is arriving, or a curse.” Indra said ominously. Lexa knew what she was insinuating.

“I suppose we shall find out this storm’s meaning tonight.” Lexa said, turning to her trusted warrior.

“I suppose we shall.”

“Remind me why we couldn’t take the Rover?” Miller asked to no one in particular, as they trudged through the muddy forest.

“That would kinda defeat the purpose of moving in stealth.” Bellamy responded, annoyed at Miller’s complaining.

Bellamy, Lincoln, Miller, and Harper had been out of the woods searching for three hours now. Bellamy didn’t know exactly what they were searching for but that did not stop him, much to Miller’s dismay.

“And now we’re all covered in mud.” Miller grumbled.

Bellamy clenched his jaw and turned to face Miller.

“What’s your problem Miller.”Bellamy asked.

“Bellamy-” Lincoln tried.

“No.” Bellamy said. “I wanna know why Miller has been whining like a little bitch the whole time we’ve been out here” Bellamy said, stepping forward.

“No one’s whining like a little bitch Bellamy. I’m just the only one who has the balls to say something about the fact that we’re out in the woods for no freakin reason!” Miller said to the older male.

“Well by all means Miller, head back to camp. No one forced you out here remember? You volunteered. If you wanna be a selfish jackass after Clarke saved your life-”

“Clarke is the reason I’m out here Bellamy! But wandering the forest when it’s about to storm doesn’t seem like it's gonna help Clarke any.” Miller said, gesturing to around him.

“Guys, yelling also isn’t going to help Clarke so could you both cool it.” Harper said to both of the males.

“Bellamy, Miller does have a point. Being out here is just us searching for problems, it’s not helping Clarke. And he’s right, there is a storm coming.” Lincoln said, looking to the sky above him.

Bellamy looked at the group with reluctance.

He didn’t want to go back. Something in him told him he shouldn’t. But a storm was coming, and by the look of the sky, this was one storm that Bellamy knew he should not be caught in.

“ _Heda! We are here!”_

Bellamy and the rest of the group ducked simultaneously.

Bellamy set up his gun and looked through the scope. Less than 200 feet away, there were grounders. Bellamy couldn’t count how many but he didn’t need to once he saw one grounder in particular.

“The Commander.” Bellamy whispered.

“She’s here?” Lincoln asked beside Bellamy.

Bellamy nodded before he lowered his gun.

“Don’t we usually get a heads up if she’s coming?” Harper asked.

“Not if she doesn’t want us to know she’s coming.” Bellamy said,with a deep frown.

“She’s here for Clarke. Isn’t she.” Miller said.

Bellamy nodded once again. He then took out his radio.

“Raven, come in.” he said into the device, but only received static. “Mine isn’t working. You guys try yours.”

They all did and received the same static noise.

“Damn it.” Bellamy cursed. He then looked above to the churning sky. “It's the storm. It’s interfering with the signal.” Bellamy said.

“Well what are we going to do now?” Harper asked.

“We have to get back to Arkadia.” Lincoln said.

“And we have to get there before they do.” Bellamy said.

Bellamy had searched for a problem, and he found one.

Clarke groaned in pain when she woke up the second time that day. She felt the pounding in her head, most likely resulting from the combination of her fall and her fever. Her body was sore too, and the pain from the poison in her leg had lessened but still sent jolts of pain into Clarke sporadically. It must’ve been adrenaline, or a miracle that she was able to get up the first time.

“Took your sweet time waking up Sleeping Beauty.” A familiar voice said.

Clarke opened her eyes. Her sight was blurry at first but it began to clear up, and Clarke saw a figure on the other side of the room.

“Raven.” Clarke breathed out.

The brunette smiled at the blonde. Something that Clarke didn’t expect. A slur of curses and maybe an “I hate you” but not a smile.

“Nice to see you alive Griffin.” Raven said, moving to sit on Clarke’s bed.

Clarke sat up, she realized she did so too quickly when she winced it pain.

“Whoa slow down, I know you’re excited to see me but you should probably refrain from making any sudden movements. Considering you kinda almost just died yesterday.”Raven said jokingly.

Raven did that. She used joking as a defense and coping mechanism. Clarke couldn’t say that that was healthy but it was better than running away for three years.

“Raven..” Clarke said again, unsure of what to say.

“That is my name..wait do you have brain damage or something? Is that all you can say because-”

“I’m sorry.” Clarke decided to say. “I know that’s not enough.. I know..I just..”

“Clarke.” Raven interrupted, the brunette's face showed no signs of humor now which made the blonde nervous as she waited for the brunette to speak again.

“I’m pissed at you.” Raven said finally.

Clarke nodded in acceptance. “I know-”

“No, I’m not finished.” Raven said.

Clarke nodded again, slightly confused.

“I’m pissed at you. Like really really pissed at you. You left us. You left me, which hurt like hell and you probably brought back some childhood abandonment issues in me which also sucks.”

Clarke swallowed at Raven’s words, and dropped her head in regret and guilt.

“But I also understand that you had to leave. That you couldn’t be around all of this after what you did. It doesn’t mean I forgive you, because that’s not easy for me. But you are my friend, Clarke. My best friend. Which is probably not healthy considering our history, but we’re stuck together. Okay?” Raven said. Her question seemed to have hidden insecurity behind it. As if she needed reassurance from Clarke.

“Okay.” Clarke whispered out, smiling as she did.

Raven nodded. “Great. Now that that’s all of the way.” Raven reached out to Clarke and punched her in the shoulder.

“Ow!” Clarke shouted in pain.

“You went and had a freakin baby!” Raven exclaimed, ignoring Clarke’s pain.

Reyna.

Ridian.

Ridian’s dead.

Azgeda is coming.

“Reyna. Where is she?” Clarke asked, suddenly alert when she remembered her situation.

“She’s in the infirmary, with your mom, but don’t you try to change the subject! Don’t grounders use protection-”

“Raven.” Clarke interrupted. Raven stopped when she saw the seriousness in Clarke’s expression and tone.

“Right now you’re showing one of my least favorite Clarke expressions. The ‘We’re all about to die probably’ face. Please don’t tell me we’re not all about to die.” Raven said warily.

“I need you to take me to my mom. There’s something I need to tell her.”

Once Clarke put on some clothes, her and Raven went to find her mom. As they walked down the halls, Clarke couldn’t help but feel out of place. Like she was in a foreign place. Even the fabric of her new clothes made Clarke itchy and uncomfortable. She hadn’t been back in three years and now everything felt new and unsettling. Clarke wasn’t sure she’d learn to deal with the changes.

When Clarke and Raven reached what appeared to be the infirmary, the first Clarke’s eyes settled on was the sight of Reyna and her mother playing peek-a-boo. At any other time, this would’ve been heartwarming to Clarke, and it still was, but Clarke unfortunately couldn’t focus on the moment due to the fact that there might’ve been an appending war.

Reyna looked to the entrance and broke into a wide grin when she saw her mother.

“Mommy!” The toddler yelled excitedly as she tried her best to run to her mother, her legs and balance only hindering her slightly.

Clarke smiled genuinely as she picked her daughter up and brought her into her arms. She hugged her tightly, maybe a little too tight but Clarke couldn’t help herself.

“Hey baby girl.” she whispered into her daughter’s ear. Looking past the tufts of Reyna’s dark curls, she saw her mother looking at Clarke.

“So I guess I did just meet my granddaughter.” Abby said, in an attempt to relieve the tension of the situation.

“Reyna’s a pretty name.” she added with a genuine smile.

“Mom..” Clarke said. As much as she wanted to formally introduce Reyna to her grandmother, as much as she wished this reunion was pleasant and normal, she knew it couldn’t be.

Her mother recognized Clarke’s tone and her joyous expression was placed with concern and seriousness. She was officially in Chancellor mode.

“What’s wrong.” Abby said, not even bothering to ask if something was wrong because she already knew there was.

Clarke explained to Raven and her mother what happened. A few times while explaining Reyna would interject a loud outburst or gesture for Clarke to put her down or pick her back up, which Clarke weirdly appreciated. Reyna’s presence made it easier to deal with the severity of the situation. Clarke left out Ridian in her recounting of what happened. Clarke didn’t know if that was because it was too painful for her to talk about or if she just didn’t want to make his existence known to anyone, because that would be dangerous, for Reyna and Clarke. She told them about the assassins, how they were sent for her and how there was still one left

“Bellamy’s out there.” Raven said once Clarke finished.

“He’s what!” Clarke shouted. Reyna looked to her mother in concern and Clarke quickly replaced her fearful expression with a calm and endearing one.

“He left with Lincoln, Miller, and Harper..they thought the Commander was after you so they went to try to find out.”

“Why would they do that! It was Ice Nation not the Commander! They’re going to get themselves killed-”

“I sent them out there Clarke.” Abby confessed. “We needed to know what was going on. All we knew is that you came into Arkadia half-alive and that someone left you that way. I sent Bellamy to get answers.”

Clarke looked at her mother incredulously. It was only Reyna that grounded her, that prevented her from yelling and cursing out her mother for endangering her friends.

“When’s the last time he radioed in.” Clarke asked as calmly as she could.

“Five hours ago.” Raven said anxiously.

“We don’t know if that means anything. The storm could be preventing them from communicating.” Abby tried

 _ **“Raven! Raven come in!**_ ”

On Raven’s hip, her radio buzzed with activity.

“Is that Bellamy?” Clarke asked.

Raven nodded.

“Bellamy, I’m here, what’s going on?” Raven said into the radio.

Only static came through the radio.

“ _ **They’re coming-”**_ Bellamy said, but was cut off.

“What did he say?” Abby asked.

“I don’t know. There’s interference.” Raven said. “Bellamy repeat.”

“ _ **The Commander...grounders… coming!”**_

The three women all went into an unsettling silence, as they all looked at each other knowingly. The only noise that was made was the static from the radio and Reyna’s coos of joy and content as she sat on the floor playing with her own fingers.

Clarke felt the dread twist in her gut.

She knew that seeing her again was bound to happen, but she didn’t expect it to be this soon. She didn’t want it to be this soon.

And she also didn’t know what this meant. That the Commander was coming. By the look of surprise on her mother’s face, Clarke knew that no one told the Commander that Clarke was here. At least no one in Arkadia. And apparently the Commander hadn’t told anyone that she was coming, which was not good at all.

Raven was the first to recover.

“Bellamy, what’s your location.” she said into the radio, but only got static in response.

“Damn it.” Raven cursed as she turned the radio off.

“I have to convene the Council.” Abby said. “Clarke, you and Reyna have to stay here. You can't be seen right now. I know you think you can protect yourself but-”

“Okay.” Clarke said, much to her mother’s and Raven’s surprise.

They both looked at her with confusion, well her mother did. Raven looked at her with suspicion more than anything.

“Okay.” Abby recovered. She then pulled her daughter into a tight hug which Clarke returned.

It seemed almost like an unfamiliar concept to Clarke.

Hugging.

Grounders didn’t do a lot of hugging. The first time Clarke had tried to hug Ridian he panicked, because he thought that she was trying to kill him. Maybe that was just an _Azgeda_ thing though.

“Everything’s going to be okay.” her mother said as she pulled back. She touched her daughter’s cheek affectionately and for a moment Clarke believed her. That everything was going to be okay. Clarke knew that her mother would do everything she could to make sure Clarke wouldn’t end up in the Commander’s hands, which should’ve reassured Clarke, but it didn’t.

“I know it will.”Clarke said, trying her best to smile. Her mother smiled back before she turned around to leave the room. Once she did Raven turned to Clarke.

“So what are we actually going to do.” Raven asked knowingly.

Clarke reached for Reyna who held her hands up to be lifted once again. She smiled brightly at her daughter as she lifted her into her arms. Clarke looked into her daughter’s eyes. Those bright blue eyes filled with joy, innocence, and everything else that Clarke wanted to preserve in her daughter. All the things that would go away if she stayed here.

“I have to leave.”

“Now.”

“Meet the ride.” Raven said as she turned on the light in the dark room.

In front of Clarke was what appeared to be a car. Or a rover. She recognized it from History class. They were used as transportation before the radiation hit. If Clarke wasn’t in such a panic she might’ve taken the time to ogle at the machine and congratulate Raven, who she knew had the idea and execution of building it.

“It won’t make too much noise as we leave?” Clarke asked.

“Nope. Thanks to the storm we have enough background noise to exit through the backdoor.” Raven said.

“We could use the horses but I think the storm would spook them.” Raven added.

Clarke nodded.

“Okay. What are we waiting for.” Clarke said stepping up to the Rover with Reyna in her arms.

“I was kinda waiting for you to change your mind. Y’know since your plan is kinda dumb.” Raven said as Reyna cooed in delight, for no particular reason.

“See. Littlest Griffin agrees with me, and I know Biggest Griffin would agree.” Raven confirmed.

“Raven..” Clarke said

“Look I’m down for whatever but it just kinda seems like you’re trying to leave again Clarke. Two minutes after you returned from your three year vacation.”

Clarke wouldn’t have called it a vacation at all but she didn’t have the time or patience to correct Raven.

“Raven, it's not like that this time. I promise.” Clarke tried in an attempt to reassure her friend. But Raven knew first hand how little Clarke’s promises were worth. Even now, she was about to break her promise to Ridian which Clarke would hate herself for.

“Well tell me what it’s like then because it looks like while everyone in these gates is preparing to fight for you. While Bellamy and the rest of our friends are out there fighting for you. You’re running away. Again.” Raven said, Clarke could hear the hurt slip through her angry voice.

Clarke looked at her friend. She didn’t want to lie to her but she knew she couldn’t tell the truth. Or at least the whole truth.

“I'm scared.” Clarke settled for, which technically was the truth. “I’m not just scared for me but I’m scared for all of you guys. I don’t know what the Commander wants. I don’t know what she will do to you all if she finds me here so I’m leaving, or running away. However you want to put it. But I’m doing it to keep everyone safe.” Clarke said truthfully.

Clarke also had the not so acute fear of facing the Commander, for reasons that Clarke would not admit to even herself. But she knew that that’s not why she was leaving. Why she was breaking her promise to Ridian. She needed to keep Reyna safe. That was the goal above all.

“Fine.” Raven said reluctantly after a moment. “But I’m coming with you.” Raven said before unlocking the door to the Rover.

“Raven-”

“We’re stuck together. So we do this together, Got it?” Raven said.

Clarke huffed under a breath. Mildly annoyed but still appreciative of the combination of her friend’s loyalty and stubbornness.

“Got it.” Clarke said.

“Good. Now get you and Littlest Griffin in here. I got the perfect hideout in mind.”

When Bellamy and the others made it back to camp, he wasted no time and marched straight into the Council Room, earning looks as he tracked mud and dripped water on the floors but nothing was said to him.

Not even the guards objected as Bellamy interrupted the meeting that was happening in the room.

“You’re back.” Abby said, obviously relieved.

“Where’s Clarke?” Bellamy asked, not wasting time on pleasantries.

“She’s safe. She’s with Raven.” Abby assured.

“Bellamy, what happened out there?” Marcus asked. Bellamy hadn’t even fully registered that the room was filled with Council members, currently looking at the male expectantly.

“We saw the Commander. Three hours away from here.” Bellamy said. Everyone in the room became alert, and the Council members began to whisper amongst each other, in hushed fearful voices.

“With an army?” one Councilperson asked.

“No. But she did have company.” Bellmay said. He then stepped up to Abby.

“I need you to give me control.” he said to the Chancellor.

“What?” Abby asked, somewhat incredulously at the male’s vague statement.

“I know how this goes down. Even though the Commander doesn’t have an army right now, she’ll come back with one if things go South. She trusts me. If you let me handle this I can keep Clarke safe and the Camp.” Bellamy said.

Bellamy saw the reluctance on the woman’s face but he also knew that she knew that this might be the only option with no casualties, well minimal casualties.

“Fine.” Abby said. “What do you want to do?” she asked the male.

“We need to enforce a curfew, now.”

Abby nodded.

“Marcus, make an announcement. All civilians need to be indoors in the next fifteen minutes.”

“Abby,what’s going on?” the man asked carefully.

Bellamy exited the room before the woman could respond. He wasn’t interested in hearing an argument, he had worked to do. Outside waiting for him was Lincoln, Miller, and Harper.

And the rest of the delinquents.

“So.” Miller said, stepping up.

“What’s the plan Bell?”

When Lexa and her group were less than 200 feet away from Arkadia, she knew something was wrong.

At first Lexa just told herself that it was her nerves. That she was just anxious to see Clarke for the first time in three years.

But then as they got closer, even with the rain, Lexa could see that there was no one in the camp. That it looked deserted.

Lexa heard a horse approaching from behind her. She didn’t turn because she knew who it was.

“It’s too quiet.” Indra observed.

“How can you tell with the wind and rain in your ears.” Lexa said back to the warrior, but she knew Indra was right.

“This feels wrong _Heda._ I do not believe it is safe.”

“That it is up for me to decide Indra.” Lexa snapped

“Rooke and Jol, stay here with the spy and wait for my command to follow.The rest of us will continue forward.” Lexa decided.

Though Lexa couldn’t ignore the voice in her head that shared Indra’s wariness.

The Sky people were unpredictable. Lexa learned that much from Clarke. But she had hoped that Octavia wasn’t correct about her assumption on Clarke. That she didn’t go back to Arkadia to start a war.

A part of Lexa knew it was naive and hopeful to still want to seek out Clarke, after there were so many signs telling her not to. But Lexa refused to give up. She would not walk away. Not again.

When they reached the gates she realized there were people still inside, but only guards, staring down at Lexa’s group with obvious apprehensiveness.

“Open the gate! It’s the Commander!” A guard shouted, as if everything was normal.

The gates opened and Lexa hesitantly took the first step forward into the Camp, carefully looking around her as she did.

The first person she laid her eyes on was Bellamy, who was walking up to the Commander as she dismounted her horse. Two guards walked several paces behind him.

“Commander.” Bellamy said politely as he approached the group. He bowed his head and looked up, scanning the group as he did.

Lexa could see the surprise in his eyes when his eyes fell on his sister, but she could tell that Bellamy was not surprised at Lexa’s arrival.

“Bellamy. Where is your Chancellor?” Lexa asked, in no mood for formalities.

“She is dealing with a problem that came up. We can prepare your compound but it’ll take a minute. We didn’t know you were coming.” the male said, abnormally relaxed.

Lexa’s eyes narrowed at the male. She could tell that he was nervous, all of them were really. The two guards behind Bellamy were fidgeting with the guns at their side. Lexa knew that this wasn’t a trap. If it was, Lexa and her group would already be dead, considering they were severly outnumbered at the moment, and she had knew Bellamy just enough to know that he wasn’t dumb enough to kill her. That it would not stop the other Clans from pursuing war with Arkadia. But still, Bellamy stood in front of Lexa acting as if nothing was wrong, while the guards, placed strategically around camp waited for something to go wrong.

“I do not have time for your games Bellamy. I believe you know why I am here. Now, where is she.” Lexa demanded.

The male dropped his cordial expression and returned the col gaze that Lexa was giving him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” he said, shifting his stance.

“Clarke. Where is she.” Lexa said, stepping closer to the male.

“Not here.” he said standing his ground.

“Bellamy, just tell her where she is.” Octavia said, coming beside Lexa.

Bellamy merely glanced at his sister and then looked back to Lexa.

“She’s not here.” he said again.

“You dare defy your Commander!” Lexa shouted over the rain, which had mysteriously worsened.

Lexa could see the guards stationed all around Camp shifting nervously.

“Bell..” One of the guards behind Bellamy said.

“Stand down!” Bellamy shouted to his people, while remaining eye contact with Lexa.

“Bell! Just tell her! Clarke is not worth all of this!” Octavia shouted to her brother, who remained still with a clenched jaw. The young warrior gave up and walked away from her brother.

“ _Heda.._ ” Indra said warily behind Lexa, but her gaze remained on Bellamy.

“You know that your disobedience will not go unpunished.” Lexa said to the male.

He nodded, stiffly.

Behind Bellamy, Lexa saw the doors of the Ark open, revealing it’s very own Chancellor.

“Wait!” Abby said as she jogged over to the tense group.

“Chancellor. Have you come to end this foolish behavior, and give me what you know I came for.” Lexa said to the Chancellor.

“No.” the Chancellor said.

Lexa raised her brow. “So you refuse your _Heda_ too. After all I have done for you.” Lexa growled.

“I refuse to give you my daughter. And from where I’m standing, you don’t get to make demands. You’re outnumbered Commander, leave before this gets unnecessarily ugly.” The Chancellor said with confidence, that would soon waver.

“You must think me a fool then Chancellor. If you really believe that I would knowingly come here outnumbered.” Lexa said, as she watched the Chancellor’s face expression and then fear.

“Surrounding your camp are over 200 Trikru warriors waiting for my signal to attack. So, Chancellor, I would suggest you reconsider your decision.”

Thanks to the speed of the Rover, it only took about seven minutes for them to reach the Dropship. While they ran inside, Clarke made sure to hold Reyna close to her chest an under her jacket, but the toddler only seem to be fascinated and delighted by the rain

“Home sweet home.” Raven said as they entered the ship.

Clarke looked around. The place had filled her with more nostalgia then Arkadia did. This was the place where Clarke became a leader. The place where she was forced to grow up. The place where she had found love, and lost love.

She should’ve hated the place. But she didn’t. Maybe because what Rave had said was right.

This was home.

Reyna squirmed in Clarke’s arms letting her know that she wanted to be put down. Clarke let her down and the toddler ran away squealing.

Clarke’s eyes wandered to the floor, where she saw a bedspread laid out.

“Someone’s been here.” Clarke said.

Raven turned to look at what Clarke was talking about and then smiled sheepishly when she looked to the floor.

“Ah yes,er that would be my little spot..Sometimes when I got lonely I came over here.” Raven explained, trying to sound as casual as she could. Clarke did know what to say to that, knowing that she was the reason that Raven was lonely. She killed Finn, and then she left. Not Clarke’s finest moment.

Suddenly, Clarke heard horse neighs and hoof sounds coming from outside the ship.

“Raven, take Reyna upstairs. Now.” Clarke said. Raven didn’t protest as she scooped the toddler off the ground who grunted and yelled in anger.

“Here, you might need this.” Raven said as she reached in her back pocket and handed Clarke a gun.

Clarke nodded in thanks.

“Don’t come down until I say so.” said to her friend who nodded hesitantly in response.

Clarke watched as Raven closed the hatch door. She then aimed her gun towards the red drapes, waiting for the uninvited guest to show their face.

When the drapes were pushed open, Clarke was glad that she didn’t shoot.

“Octavia?” Clarke said, lowering her gun.

The younger girl's eyes fell to Clarke, and she too lowered her weapon, apprehensively.

“So it’s true. You are alive.” Octavia stated plainly, as she sheathed her sword.

“Yeah..it’s good to see you.” Clarke tried, noticing the other girl’s weird behavior. She also noticed how Octavia looked more Grounder than ever, which slightly worried Clarke.

“Wish I could say the same to you Clarke but as usual, people are about to die because of your terrible decision making.” Octavia said.

“What?” Clarke asked, confused with what Octavia was saying. “What do you mean? I left. No one is in danger anymore.”

“Yeah well, this time you leaving didn’t solve everyone’s problems.” Octavia snapped. “It only made things worse. The Commander is standing her ground. She’s not leaving. She wants you.”

“I-I cant Octavia.. You don’t understand-”

“Clarke I didn’t come here for you to give me some bs reason! Lexa rallied a mini army on our way here. 200 Trikru warriors are waiting for her command to attack! Do you really want more blood on your hands!” Octavia yelled.

Clarke took in what Octavia said. 200 Trikru warriors were a lot but she knew Arkadia could hold their own against them. Clarke couldn’t worry about the camp. She needed to keep Reyna safe.

That’s all that mattered.

“Octavia I can’t go back.” Clarke said, standing her ground.

Octavia rolled her eyes and laughed with no humor.

“Of course. I guess I forgot that Clarke only cares about herself. That everyone else can die and Clarke can run away scott free! Bellamy is over there risking his life for you Clarke! They’re all about to go to war for you! The mighty _Wanheda_!” Octavia said sarcastically.

“Wait, Bellamy? He’s back?” Clarke asked. Worry began to flood through Clarke. She knew how reckless her friend was. That he was probably standing defiantly in front of the Commander, ready to go to war for Clarke, as she would do for him. But Clarke wasn’t there, so he would fight and die for nothing.

“Yeah. And he’s ready to die for you. While you sit here and let it happen. He’s ready to die for a coward.” Octavia spat venomously.

The hatch door opened and Raven came climbing down.

“Raven I told you to stay upstairs!” Clarke said to her friend.

“Hey I heard shouting!” Raven said as she turned to face the two girls in front of her.

“Oh.” Raven said when she saw the other brunette. “Hey Octavia..” Raven said hesitantly.

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Of course you’re here with her.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Raven, go upstairs.”

“So what it’s going to be, Clarke? You wanna stay here, or let my brother and our friends die?”

“Raven..” Clarke said after a moment. “Stay here.”

“I’m going with Octavia.”

“What? Wait-”

“I need you to stay here.” Clarke said, turning to her friend, pleading through her eyes. If she was going to do this, she definitely couldn’t have Reyna in the middle of it.

“Okay.” Raven said. “Here are the keys to the Rover.” Raven said reaching into her jacket pocket as Octavia shook her head.

“Won’t need them. We’re taking my horse. He’s faster.”

The Chancellor and all of the guards had retreated inside the Ark. Abby had said she needed to convene with her Council but Lexa knew that the older woman was just buying time for herself, most likely checking to see if what Lexa said was true.

The door opened again and only Bellamy came out and approached Lexa once again.

The Commander could tell by his expression that they knew Lexa was telling the truth. That they were surrounded by a waiting army.

“Care to reconsider now?” Lexa asked the male.

“No.” he said stubbornly after a moment.

Lexa clenched her jaw.

“We are not handing you Clarke. And we are prepared to fight, no matter the outcome.”

Lexa would admire this loyalty at any other moment, but as she stood in front of her warriors being openly defied, being denied Clarke, she knew what she had to do.

“Very well.” Lexa said finally. “You have chosen your fates.”

Lexa turned to Indra and nodded in her head.

“ _Attack!_ ” Indra yelled, raising her sword. Her voice carried above the storm and Lexa heard the war cries of the warriors surrounding the camp.

Lexa and the group behind her began to charge at the two Sky people in front of them, but as they did, soldiers filed out of the Ark and its surrounding buildings, with guns in hand.

It didn’t matter though, as Trikru warriors flooded into the Camp after jumping off the gates they climbed, and Lexa knew that it would be hard for the soldiers to get a clear shot in the dark and heavy rain.

But they didn’t shoot as Lexa and her people charged. They just waited, as Bellamy stood in front of him with his fist raised.

“Wait!” he shouted to his people over the harsh winds.

Lexa then realized what he was doing. He knew that he would waste his soldiers’ ammunition by shooting into the dark, so he was waiting till they got close enough. It was too late to retreat though, Lexa would have to keep on forward.

Salvation had come though when the Trikru soldiers that waited at the back of the camp had come charging at the Sky people from behind. Lexa’s gaze briefly turned to the horse and it’s rider who charged in with the other Trikru warriors.

The rider then charged past the Sky people and turned into the gap that was rapidly closing between the two clans.

Lexa recognized the rider as Octavia, but there was someone else who rode on the horse’s back, their face hidden by their hood.

Then their hood came off, and they raised their arm and shot their weapon several times in the sky.

“Stop!” the voice said, and their voice miraculously carried over the heavy rain and sounds of war.

Everyone halted their movements, at the sight before them. Even the rain, which just a moment ago had been so heavy that Lexa could barely see ahead of her, had now dissolved to light drizzles. As if the storm had mysteriously past in mere seconds.

Lexa’s heart beated out of her chest. No longer because of the adrenaline of war but at the staggering shock at who was now only a few feet away from her.

Lexa could hear her warriors in awe, whispering the other girls name, or rather her title.

“Clarke?” Bellamy said what Lexa’s voice could not.

“Bellamy. Stand down.” she said to her perplexed friend from on top of the horse.

“Clarke-” he tried.

“Now.” she commanded.

Bellamy reluctantly turned and nodded to the soldiers who hesitantly lowered their weapons.

“No more fighting!” she yelled out to every person present as she looked around her.

Then her eyes drifted to Lexa. And she met the blue eyes that haunted her dreams.

“I’m here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooo lordie this was A LOT. Over freaking 11,000 words guys! I’m kinda exhausted, but anything for y’all. More excited to write the next chapter and probably gonna start that today so yay, but finally Clarke and Lexa reunite.. ish. So yeah there was an almost battle and there were no casualties because I can’t have people dying too early in the story and there’s already so much going on. Let me know how you guys feel about it. Appreciate the support and the comments, keep em coming. And yeah, hope you guys enjoyed it.


	5. Everything’s Okay, Until it Isn’t

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys for taking so long to update. This week has been pretty crazy and exhausting for me. I’m sure you’ll see my mood conveyed in the chapter lmao. Thanks for the support! I really appreciate it. Let me know what you guys think about this one.
> 
> Read the note at the end if you wanna here me talk about the chap.

Clarke used to love the color green.

It was the first real color she drew with on the Ark, and she used to imagine herself surrounded by the color when they finally came back to Earth. When she arrived on Earth, she couldn’t get enough of the color, surrounded by its vibrance just about everywhere. Though the infatuation with the color would end in the first couple days on the ground, when she got used to seeing it splattered and overtook by the crimson red that so often spilled. That mostly ended her fascination with all colors. She used to hate the dark,gray, charcoal, that lacked the adventure and liveliness she craved, but when she became overwhelmed with the sickening scarlet, she wished she could go back to the dull gray.

But then she saw the vibrance she craved again. It was an unusual shade of green, one she had never seen before, which may have been why it was so alluring to the artist. The green screamed danger and everything else that compromised safety. At that Clarke should stay away, but instead it only brought her closer. It didn’t help that the creature that these captivating pools of green belonged to was also beautiful and enchanting, in her own way. They were both bewildering, enigmas that Clarke couldn’t help but get close to try to understand.

Not long would Clarke come to hate green again. When she once again associated the color with red, but now it was a red that filled Clarke’s mind with uncertainty and rage. She didn’t want to see that shade of green anymore. She hated it, she feared it, and much to Clarke’s displeasure, still thought it beautiful.

She didn’t think she would see those green orbs again, especially on her own accord. But of course, since Clarke consistently ran low on fortune, she was now faced with them. The green eyes that haunted her dreams..

Clarke hated how even in the dead of night, she could see the color so clearly, that the shadows her war paint created only enhanced the color’s vibrancy. She hated how the green eyes disturbed Clarke’s peace of mind, not that she had much of that these past years, and most of all she hated how she felt so vulnerable, how she went back to being the love stricken teen, who was so ignorant and gullible.

The older girl had an expression that Clarke had never seen before. It was unfamiliar, and it made Clarke feel uneasy. Then, the older girl's face changed to something Clarke did recognize, the stoic, controlled expression that the blonde was so familiar with. It was so recognizable to Clarke because it was the last thing she saw on the other girl’s face before she turned and walked away from that cursed Mountain. It was the face she saw in her nightmares when she desperately cried out to the girl for help, over, and over again.

Clarke forced herself to break eye contact with the girl as she dismounted Octavia’s horse. She then turned to Bellamy, who looked at her with apparent confusion.

“Clarke..”he said again as she approached him. He looked to Octavia and back to Clarke with hesitation and uncertainty.

“Bellamy, I need you to leave. Take everyone and leave.” Clarke wasted no time with pleasantries, as she could see Trikru warriors around them waiting for direction from their Commander apprehensively. Waiting to commence the battle that Clarke’s arrival had only halted for now.

“And what about you? Clarke I’m not leaving you-”

“Bellamy. I need to handle this, and I need you to trust me.” The blonde looked at her friend with a knowing look.

Clarke knew it was cruel to ask her friend to trust her. It was also hypocritical since Clarke didn’t trust anything but the consistency of death. Wanheda could always rely on death.

But Bellamy knew the direness of this situation when he looked at his friend’s desperate expression. He clenched his jaw and nodded, still looking at Clarke with some uncertainty.

“Tell them to stand down first.” Bellamy said, gesturing to the battle-ready grounders that still surrounded them.

“You know they’re not going to do that.” Even though Clarke was supposed to be the Commander of Death, she commanded nothing, especially not Trikru. Especially not the actual Commander.

Bellamy let out a frustrated breath, as he surveyed the situation around him. He knew what exactly Clarke knew. That this was a battle they could not win. Even if they managed to fight off every one of the warriors, the other Clans would retaliate and they would soon be dead. So, they had to give them what they wanted. Clarke.

Or rather Wanheda.

“Everyone. Put your guns down.” Bellamy barked out to the armed and ready soldiers behind him. Some, Clarke recognized as delinquents. Hesitantly, they slowly placed their guns on the ground.

“Bellamy-” Miller tried, stepping forward.

“Shut up and do what I say Miller. This isn’t up for discussion.” Belamy said, putting on the unwavering authoritative tone that Clarke had come to know during their early days on the ground. Miller’s nose flared and then he looked to Clarke.

‘What the hell are you doing! Are you trying to get us all killed!’ is what his eyes seemed to say.

She didn’t let her false appearance of confidence waver as she nodded to Miller, telling him, ‘It’s okay, I have a plan.’

Even though she didn’t really.

Clarke had no idea what she was going to do. She didn’t think this far. Clarke wished she could say she had outgrown the need to charge into a situation when the people she loved were in danger but it was apparent that she hadn’t.

She guessed that some things never changed.

Somethings you couldn’t shake off no matter how hard you tried.

Her false confidence seemed to work though as Miller reluctantly laid down his weapon.

“There, we’re unarmed. But we’re not leaving until they stand down.” Bellamy said defiantly.

Clarke knew not to fight Bellamy on this. She was already pushing her luck by just asking him to stand down. This was the best she was going to get.

“And take this.” he said reaching for his pocket. He pulled out a walkie and handed it to Clarke. She grabbed it and nodded gratefully.

She knew it was time to go, but before she turned around, she stepped closer to him, and hugged him, or at least that's what Clarke made it look like to everyone else. As her head rested on the crook of her friend’s neck she whispered in his ear. She then stepped back and looked at him, to confirm his understanding. She could tell that her friend was confused, and looked to have a million questions he wanted to ask, but he knew this wasn’t the time nor place. Instead he just nodded, telling Clarke he would do what she asked.

“Thank you.” she whispered. She then inhaled, and held her breath as she turned around to face those green eyes again.

Another thing the blonde couldn’t shake off no matter how hard she tried.

She marched towards her, as Trikru warriors and Sky people alike watched her warily. Nausea hit Clarke with each step.

She now stood only a few feet away from the older girl, and everything told her to turn back around, run away, and never look back.

That was what she was good at now, running away.

But she stayed this time, and put on the mask that she was so used to putting on in the years she was out in the wilderness, when she couldn’t be Clarke Griffin because that came with too many problems.

For a moment, she stood there. Waiting in case the older girl was going to decapitate her then and there. Why else would she march to Arkadia in secret with an army?

Clarke waited, but the other girl did nothing. She just stood, and watched Clark intensely. It made Clarke’s skin crawl with discomfort, but she showed none of her inner thoughts.

Clarke’s chest felt hollow. She couldn’t feel her heart in her chest, but she felt its beating vibration everywhere else.

“I’ll come with you. If your people stand down.” Clarke said finally. She let no emotion slip through her voice. Void of any feeling that she had tied to the person who stood in front of her.

Clarke saw in a quick flash of the eyes that her tone took the older girl by surprise but she quickly reverted back to the same emotionless expression. The older girl then lifted her head slightly, as if she was reclaiming the power in this situation with just a simple gesture. She then slightly turned her head to the side where Indra stood glaring pointedly at Clarke. It was probably her form of intimidation, or just her showing her hatred for the blonde, either way, Clarke was unaffected. She was no longer the scared teenager searching for approval. She didn’t mind hatred from others anymore. Clarke knew that because she already harbored enough for herself.

The Commander nodded to her general who scowled at the blonde.

“ _Trikru! Withdraw and return to your villages! Await there for my orders!”_ the general barked loudly, her voice carrying in the area. The Trikru warriors looked just as hesitant as the Sky people did, but they all carried out their orders and made their way out of the Trikru gates. Clarke felt some relief as they did so, she clinged to some hope that this would work. She tried her best to make her stiffness unnoticable as the warriors passed her. To say that Clarke was out of her comfort zone was an understatement. She was surrounded by people who she had been hiding from for years now. If Clarke had a vocal conscience they would be screaming at her to run away. Go get Reyna and run as far away as she could.

Clarke tried to ignore the fact that the older girl was still looking at her. Clarke had already broken her eye contact and instead looked at the Trikru warriors exiting the gates of Arkadia. She then looked back to Bellamy who was already looking at her apprehensively.

She gave him a reassuring nod, or as reassuring as it could be. ‘I’ll be okay’, is what her simple gesture said to her friend.

Bellamy looked at the blonde with doubtfulness at first. His expression seemed to say, ‘Yeah, I’ve heard that before.’ It was a cliche thing to believe in, that everything would be okay, and Clarke and Bellamy knew that. It was naive for them to have that optimistic view on life because they were the people that had to actually make the decisions for everything to be okay. They were the people who pulled the lever together killing hundreds of people so that their people would be okay. Even if they weren’t those people, Clarke had been learning a cruel repeating lesson since she was sixteen. Everything is okay until it isn't, and that’s the way things were.

The hard look had dropped on Bellamy’s face and was replaced with worry and slight desperation. ‘Come back. We need you.’

Clarke nodded at Bellamy once again. ‘I will.’

With that, Bellamy turned to the people behind him and ordered their withdrawal. He sent one last look to Clarke, and then to Octavia, who still sat on her horse towering above. She returned his glance. There were unspoken words between the two siblings, but neither made any move to say anything as Bellamy turned away. Octavia then looked to Clarke, the blonde nodded to the younger girl but she offered only a scoff in response. Clarke had no idea what was going on with the younger girl but she had no time to figure out. She could still feel the intense eyes on her, and she had no desire to face them.

Clarke knew why she feared this moment so much, why her heart pounded at the thought of leaving with the older girl in front of her. She was afraid of what she would lose. She didn’t know if she would lose her head to the mighty Commander who could claim it as a trophy, or if she would lose her heart, her traitorous heart who still found beauty in those green eyes, and desperately tried to fight off any hate she harbored for the girl. Clarke knew she would lose something, it seemed inevitable. But she would fight like hell before she did. She had too, for herself, and for Reyna.

“We leave now.” the older girl had said. Her voice had caught Clarke off guard as she turned to face the girl again. She hoped that the other girl hadn’t seen her flinch.

“Let’s go then.” Clarke said, showing no sign of emotion once again. The Commander didn’t offer a response as she turned to the horse that one of her guards was bringing to her side. She mounted it, and the others followed on their respective horses. Clarke half-expected for someone to chain her up, or use some type of restraint that would stop her from running away, but no one did. In fact, they all began to exit the Camp, leaving Clarke. The blonde stood there embarrassingly dumbfounded until one of the guards approached her with a horse. It was a beautiful male steed whose coat matched the dark night they stood in. It made Clarke look like a toddler standing in front of it.

“For you, Wanheda.” the guard had said. Clarke was slightly surprised with the softness of the males voice. She didn’t expect any type of warmth from anyone Trikru. She didn’t know if the Clan still had hatred for _Skaikru_ , for all they’ve done to them since their arrival, but she did know that they hated Clarke, for burning three hundred of them alive, for undermining their Commander’s authority at the Mountain. Clarke knew that was the real reason the Commander was here. Clarke was a symbol of weakness for the older girl, and Clarke knew how the other girl tolerated and handled weakness.

Clarke realized she blanked out and the guard stood there waiting, as did the others just past the gates. She could tell that the other girl was looking at her again, with curiosity and wary.

“Thank you.” Clarke said to the male in front of her. She tried for a half smile that she could tell he appreciated. Maybe he too needed relief from this tense situation. He nodded and then went to mount his own horse.

Clarke carefully approached the horse. She had rode them before, but after the mountain, the creatures didn’t take a liking to the blonde. They said animals could sense darkness. So maybe the horses could sense all the darkness that surrounded Clarke, all the death. But this didn’t back away when Clarke touched it’s coat. It didn’t throw her off when she swung her leg over its side, and it didn’t jerk away when she pulled it’s reins to redirect her. It was a welcomed surprise that Clarke couldn’t help but smile at. She then remembered that the Commander and her group were still waiting for her. She rode up behind them, debating internally whether or not she should ride next to Octavia. She decided against considering the girl’s open hostility. She definitely did not want to ride next to the Commander so Clarke settled on riding in the back with the guard who had given her the horse. Then the journey begins, to God knows where. Clarke felt the weight of her walkie in her pocket. It only reassured her slightly that she could call for help if she needed it. Her eyes fell on the back of the head of the Commander.

What was she planning? She had Clarke in her grasp, and now what?

What was Clarke going to do? She had a message to deliver, about _Azgeda_ and the apparent impending war. She had warned her mother, and her mother was supposed to warn the Commander, which was hard to do now. So that left Clarke to tell the Commander. But if she told her that Nia wanted Clarke, wouldn’t her simple solution be to kill Clarke? Take Wanheda’s power and stop _Azgeda_ ’s attempt to usurp and control the Coalition. Or did the Commander already know of Nia’s treachery? It made sense, Trikru had found the trail of dead assassins, and one of them must’ve spotted Clarke and deduced she was heading to Arkadia.

Clarke felt an unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach.

If that was true, then that means that among the dead assassins they saw Ridian. If they recognized him then all of Clarke’s worst fears were going to come true. This didn’t feel like a trap but usually they don’t feel like one, until it’s too late.

Clarke tightened her grip on the reigns of her horse. She showed nothing externally but panic and anxiety internally consumed Clarke. She couldn’t leave, she knew that. She had to repair what was just broken between _Skaikru_ and the Commander, and if she didn’t already know, she had to warn the Commander about _Azgeda_ , no matter the consequences.

Clarke felt anger and bitterness swell in her chest.

The worst part about her situation was the fact that she had to trust the Commander. Trust that this wasn’t a trap, trust that she would still help _Skaikru_ and protect them. It was a lot of trust Clarke had to give to someone she couldn’t give it too.

The older girl must’ve felt the daggers Clarke was glaring at the back of her head as she turned around and met her gaze. Clarke’s face went impassive again, and she averted her eyes.

She had to stay calm, stay collected because she couldn’t afford to externalize any of her anger or trepidation.

She needed to dehumanize herself for what was coming. She couldn’t afford to show weakness, she needed to be a force to be reckoned with. She needed to fall into the role she was given.

Wanheda.

When Bellamy approached the Dropship, he prepared for the worse.

Clarke had only told him to go to Raven at the Dropship, that’s it. Bellamy wasn’t used to vagueness from Clarke, well at least he wasn’t three years ago. After their differences were settled, the two had a fairly honest relationship. They had to because they were the only people they could be honest with. They shared the burdens of leadership, they told each other the hard truths they couldn’t share with the rest of their people, with their own friends and family. But again, that was three years ago.

Bellamy could tell Clarke was different in the short moment he saw her. He recognized her, but at the same time he didn’t. War changed people, it changed Bellamy, and there was no doubt it changed Clarke. Bellamy just hoped it wasn’t the same change Finn had gone through. The same change that Jasper was going through.

Bellamy was angry at Clarke for not staying, so that they could face that change together, so they could pull each other through the nightmare they had faced. But she was still Clarke. The person Bellamy knew his people really owed everything too. He knew the peace Arkadia had with the Commander was because of Clarke. That in some way, for reasons Bellamy could not explain, she had been the only reason the Commander sought to make peace with his people. Now that peace may be gone, thanks to Bellamy, Clarke had come to save her people once again.

So even though Bellamy was angry with Clarke. Furious with her. He would carry out her wish without hesitation. He owed her that much.

Bellamy pulled back the drape cautiously as he stepped into the ship. Thanks to Clarke’s vagueness, he had no idea what he was walking into, so he held his gun, ready for anything. Bellamy then heard shuffling, coming from a corner of the ship that his peripherals didn’t cover. He raised his gun and walked carefully in that direction.

More shuffling came until Bellamy was faced with a gun himself.

“Bellamy?” Raven said, immediately dropping her gun.

“Raven.” Bellamy said, relieved, before dropping and holstering his gun.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. She darted her eyes around as if to make sure no one else was around.

“I was hoping you’d tell me.” Bellamy said. “Clarke told me to come.” he added when he saw Raven’s confusion.

“Well why didn’t Clarke come herself?” Raven asked, narrowing her eyes at Bellamy.

“She’s occupied. The Commander came and left, and she went with.” Bellamy said plainly, not vocalizing his worries about Clarke’s safety.

“Shit.” Raven cursed. “Did anyone follow you?”

Bellamy shook his head. “No, but why? Raven what’s going on?” he asked the brunette. She looked hesitant but was about to speak before they both heard noise come from upstairs.

“What was that?” Bellamy asked, on guard again.

Raven let out a sigh. “That would be the why.”

She then proceeded to go upstairs and when she was coming down the ladder, Bellamy heard a cry of joy.

Raven turned and Bellamy saw the toddler Clarke had brought into Arkadia.

“Raven. I’m gonna need an explanation. Now.”

Raven snorted. “Yeah well you’re gonna have to wait in line buddy. I’ll tell you the same miniscule of information that I got myself.”

She put down the child who was already desperately trying to escape the brunette’s arm.

“Meet Littlest Griffin.” Raven said, throwing her hands out dramatically, gesturing to the dark-haired girl.

Bellamy’s eyes widened at Raven’s words. He was about to tell Raven that her joke wasn’t funny, and that they didn’t have time to play games. But as he looked down to the little girl. Their eyes met his. They weren’t the same color as Clarke’s. They were lighter, and had dark defined rings around the iris that enhanced the intensenes of the color that reminded Bellamy of Octavia’s, when she was a baby. There was no doubt though that this was Clarke’s child though. He could tell by the determined look in the child’s eyes, and the tuffs of curls the toddlers had been adamantly trying to blow and swat away from her line of vision.

Bellamy knew it for certain. This was Clarke’s kid.

“Yeah I had the same look on my face. Clarke’s obviously been busy.” Raven said. Bellamy caught a hint of annoyance, or even in bitterness in Raven’s tone, but he knew better to acknowledge it.

Bellamy had stopped staring at the anomaly in front of him when she had turned her focus to her foot, which was apparently more interesting than Bellamy.

He realized what he was here for.

“We have to take her back to Arkadia. And hide her. Tell no one she exists.” Bellamy said.

“Wait what? Why?” Raven asked confused.

“I don’t know.” Bellamy said, and he didn’t. “But I know that this is what Clarke wanted. That’s why she told you to stay here. That's why she sent me. For some reason Clarke doesn’t want anyone knowing about her kid but she trusts us, so we have to trust her.”

“Yeah sure I’m down with whatever but how are we supposed to hide this,” Raven said gesturing to the toddler currently running in circles.

“From everyone at Arkadia!”

Bellamy thought this over. Raven was right. It would be impossible to hide a loud, apparently energetic, baby from everyone at Arkadia, and they had nowhere else to go. They wouldn’t be able to do this, not without some help at least.

“Abby.” Raven said. “She knows about the kid. She can help us.” Raven said.

Bellamy nodded. “We can hide her out in the Chancellor’s house. No one snoops around there.”

“And what about Clarke?” Raven asked.

Bellamy paused. “She doesn’t want us to go after her. We have to trust that she’ll fix everything, and that she'll come back.” Bellamy didn’t like the words that came out his own mouth and apparently, neither did Raven.

“And I guess we’re just gonna have to hope that it doesn’t take her three years right?” Raven scoffed.

Bellamy shook his head. “She won’t do that. Not with all that’s going on. And things are different now...she has a-”

“Family?” Raven finished off for Bellamy. “Yeah, well pretty sure that's what we were before she left us.”

Bellamy had nothing to say to that. At least nothing that wouldn’t bring up the bitter feelings that Bellamy had pushed down upon Clarke’s arrival. He had convinced himself that everything was okay now, now that Clarke was back but he should’ve known better. He knew better.

Everything’s okay until it isn’t.

Clarke thought it would be at least a day’s journey to wherever they were going, but it was less than an hour away. They stopped in the wood where a camp had been set up. They all begin to disperse and left Clarke and the Commander alone. The older girl turned to face Clarke, just barely sparing her glance.

“Come. We have much to discuss.” she said plainly. She turned back around and dismounted her horse whose reins she gave to one of her guards. She then made her way to the tent that had two guards in front of it. Clarke guessed it belonged to the older girl.

Clarke stared at the opening of light that lit from inside the tent. Here we go again, she thought bitterly. The guard who held the Commander’s horse stood close by, most likely waiting on Clarke to dismount so he could take hers.

Clarke waisted no more time and dismounted, then with determination, walked over to the Commander’s tent. The guards in front spared her no glance and neither did she. With one last steady breath she opened the tent and entered it.

Inside, Octavia, Indra, the guard Clarke rode next to, and the Commander stood around a circular table. Clarke slowly moved around the table, not sure exactly where she should stand. Clarke opted for the side that was the farthest away from the Commander, and it also happened to be the closest area to the exit.

That was an uncomfortable silence in the room. The only Clarke could hear was the chilly breeze hitty against the tent. At the head of the table, was the Commander, currently staring down at the map laid out on the table with furrowed brows.

Her obvious dismay had pleased Clarke momentarily.

It was hard for Clarke not to notice how the Commander looked. In the darkness of the night, she could barely make out her face, just her piercing eyes, but now in the light that lit up the tent. She could see the older girl’s face.

What was unsettling was that with the ruined warpaint, the battle ready armor, and warrior styled braids, the girl had almost looked just like she did on the night at the Mountain.

Clarke knew the girl hadn’t done this on purpose, but it didn’t stop her from her feeling the rage she had been trying to suppress.

“For the past few years, the Clans have been on the precipice of war.” the Commander had said finally. She looked up from the map, glancing at everyone except for Clarke.

“ _Azgeda_ has always been an agent of chaos. They and their Queen have always spread dissent and in secret, they question my rule. But now, they inspire more than just conversation, they inspire war.”

“Queen Nia has begun to move forward with her plans to take me out of power. She has never been able to do so with _Kongeda_ standing in her way, but she believes now she has the means to do so. With Wanheda.”

The Commander looks at Clarke, and the blonde does not back down from her gaze. So the Commander did know about _Azgeda_ , and presumably the assassins Nia sent after Clarke. But did she know about Ridian? And where did Clarke fall into all of this? Surely if the Commander meant to kill her she would’ve done it by now.

“She attempted to slay Wanheda, claim her power, by sending her assassins into Trikru lands, into my lands. She has broken the terms of the Coalition which calls for war, but war is something Nia wants. So, it is something we cannot give her. Together, we must keep the peace, and preserve the Coalition.” The Commander said, breaking her gaze from Clarke.

Clarke does not miss Lexa’s use of the word we and together, as if this was a group effort. Clarke then realizes what she’s here for. It was simple Grounder politics. That’s what she called it whenever Ridian explained their ways. She wasn’t here to die. No, the Commander was too smart for that. Instead, Clarke was here to play a role.

“You need me.” Clarke said, speaking up for the first time. She didn’t look at the older girl but instead kept her gaze on the map. “You need Wanheda to stop Nia.” Clarke clarified. Her saying “you need me” was too personal, and untrue. The Commander didn’t need Clarke, she needed the Commander of Death. That’s why Clarke was here.

Clarke forced herself to look up and meet the older girl's gaze.

“We need each other. This war endangers all of the Clans. Especially _Skaikru_. _Azgeda_ openly opposed _Skaikru_ joining the Coalition, and has sought war with your people since your landing. Now, because of your title, your people are even more endangered, and possibly a target.” The Commander said.

Clarke almost laughs bitterly at the older girl’s not so subtle attempt to reason with the blonde. Perhaps she knows that the last thing Clarke would do was help her. Perhaps she also knows how ironic this whole situation was. That now, she was the one who needed help, and Clarke had the opportunity to leave her high and dry.

Clarke can also see that under the Commander’s illusion of confidence, she was wary. Wary that protecting her people wouldn’t be enough reason for Clarke to help the older girl. She was wary that Clarke’s need for revenge and her contempt for the older girl would be too strong.

Clarke did have hatred for the Commander. A deep hatred that Clarke had been keen on keeping, as a reminder and for self-preservation. But Clarke didn’t let her hate blind her from the reality of the situation. She couldn’t afford it either. Clarke knew that she had no other choice but to work with the Commander. Even if Clarke did walk out of here alive after refusing the Commander, she had Nia to worry about. Nia who would chase her to the ends of the Earth, and by herself Clarke would be fine. But not with Reyna.

“The other clans want me dead too. Not just Queen Nia. If we do work together, what’s to stop them from rebelling. Or what’s to stop them from joining _Azgeda_?” Clarke asked. If she was going to join the Commander, she would cover all bases. She wouldn’t walk in half-blind like she did last time.

Indra in the corner of the room shifted her stance, but did not speak.

“I am still the Commander, the leader of the Coalition. They will have no choice but to accept my decisions. Once they see you bow to me, there will be no one that moves against you without moving against me.”

“Bow to you?” Clarke asked, almost scoffing.

The Commander’s jaw slightly moves, detecting the incredulousness in Clarke’s tone.

“Yes. It is the only way that the Clans will fall in line, and Nia’s treachery can be stopped before it even begins.”

Clarkes eyes subtly gazed around the room. None of them except for the Commander had spoken. If they were here for advice then they officially sucked at their jobs. No, they weren’t here for advice. In Clarke’s peripherals she could see all three of the warriors’ hand absentmindedly laying on the hilt of the sword.

They were here for protection.

It almost made Clarke raise a brow. The thought of killing the Commander wasn’t something Clarke dismissed, or particularly hated. But she knew she wouldn’t act on it. Like a Hydra, if she cut off the Commander’s head, six other problems would sprout up. She also knew that she didn’t stand a chance. Not while the older girl was on her guard anyway.

But for some reason, the Commander did believe Clarke stood a chance. Or was a big enough threat to have three other people in the room.

So the Commander thought Clarke worthy of _4 v. 1_. How flattering.

Clarke tried not to ponder over the fact that Octavia seemed willing to kill Clarke. That was a can of worms that she still couldn’t open. Instead, Clarke turned her thoughts back to the situation at hand.

“So I’m assuming my submission has to be a public event?” Clarke asked, looking back up to the Commander. When Clarke looked at her, she tried to imagine something else. Something impassive and still, something Clarke didn’t have the urge to stab or curse. A tree.

The tree nodded. “Tomorrow, a week-long festival will be held at TonDC. On the last day of the celebrations, all of the Clan leaders will meet to end the Harvest. On that day, you will come before them and swear fealty to me.”

Clarke pushed down the words that wanted so desperately to spit-fire out of her mouth. She wanted to say that fealty was an unknown concept to the Commander, and that it was probably why her Coalition was going to shit. She always wanted to quiet that assertive tone that the older girl had. As if she was in charge of Clarke.

But Clarke did no such thing. She was here on a mission, and she wouldn’t let her emotions rule over her.

“And what happens to _Skaikru_?” Clarke asked. “After tonight’s events I hardly think everything will go back to normal.”

Indra in the corner made a sound from the back of her throat, but again did not say anything.

The Commander pushed her chin out, further than it already was. Clarke maintained her steady gaze, that wasn’t a glare but still had an unwavering intensity to it. Lexa returned it and Clarke thought would be a battle of will until the Commander spoke.

“Tonight’s event will not affect _Skaikru’s_ position in the Coalition, if you bow to me. But there will be consequences that will be further discussed at a later time.” the older girl said.

Clarke wanted to know what the “consequences” would be, but she didn’t question. She knew that the only reason _Skaikru_ wasn’t facing more severe consequences was because the other Clans did not know of what happened last night.

“And after I bow to you, this will be over. And I’ll be done.” Clarke said, telling more than asking. She needed to make it clear what her role in this was. She would work with the Commander for a week, and then she would never have to see her again.

Clarke saw the side of the older girl’s mouth twitch but offered no other reaction except for a simple nod.

Clarke nodded.

This would work for Clarke.

It wasn't ideal. She would have to work with the Commander for one long week. She would have to push down the feelings that even in that moment, threatened to erupt. She hated it, but she would do it. There was too much at risk if she didn’t.

“There is another matter.” the Commander said, right as Clarke was about to agree to the conditions.

Clarke waited apprehensively.

“One of the assassins Queen Nia sent after you was caught.”

Clarke went stiff.

Her heart pounded out of her chest as she realized what this meant. The last assassin had seen everything. They knew about Ridian. And if the Commander had the assassin. Then that means she knew about him too, or it was only a matter of time.

“Are they alive?” Clarke asked, careful to keep her tone plain.

The Commander nodded. Her attentiveness to Clarke’s expressions and reaction did not go unnoticed by the blonde. The Commander was testing Clarke, or waiting for some type of reaction that she would not give.

“We brought them here to give to your people. As a sign of goodwill. We can interrogate the assassin together to see if they can provide us with any information on Queen Nia’s plan. After we do so, you and your people can do what you please with them.” the Commander said.

Clarke internally relaxed, only a bit. They hadn’t interrogated the assassin yet, and it seems the assassin said nothing. Clarke would have to keep it that way.

“Nia wouldn’t tell her plans to an assassin. We should dispose of the assassin now, they would be no use to us.” Clarke said.

Suddenly, all eyes were on Clarke.

And she knew where she slipped.

She called Nia by her name, and not her title. It looked as if she had a sense of familiarity to someone she should not be familiar with. It was too late to rectify her mistake. She would make things worse if she tried to say anything else.

The older girl raised a brow at the blonde. “That may be so, but I hardly think it would hinder us in any way if we tried. The spy also seems very adamant on keeping their life, so I believe she may prove to be valuable to us.” she narrowed her eyes slightly, trying to read Clarke’s reaction and see if she would provide another.

Clarke could see she wasn’t going to win this, so she let it go, for now.

“I’ll agree to the conditions.” she said shifting her stance. “But before we do anything, we need to return to Arkadia and explain this to the Chancellor. She is who you will be dealing with after I do my part.” Clarke realized what she was insinuating. That after Clarke did her part, she would leave, and drop off the face of the Earth, again. This wasn’t true of course. She had promised to many people now that she was staying. And Arkadia was the best place for Reyna. But the Commander didn’t know any of that.

The older girl's brow twitched but the rest of expression remained stony.

“Very well.” the older girl said.

Clarke nodded and reached for her pocket. In her peripherals, Clarke could see the sudden movement from the three warriors, at response to Clarke’s. They relaxed a bit when they saw it was only Clarke’s walkie but remained alert.

“Bellamy, come in.” Clarke said into the radio as all watched her with cautious eyes.

“ _ **I’m here.**_ ” Bellamy said back within seconds.

“We’re returning to Arkadia, in peace. The Commander and I have come to an agreement.”

Explaining the agreement and conditions to the Council was easier than thought it would be. Her mother or any other the Council members showed no signs of disagreement. They were all probably happy that they weren’t going to war with the Commander.

Clarke tried to make a haste exit once the meeting had ended. Her mother had told her that Reyna was safe and in her house and Clarke was anxious to get back to her.

“Clarke.”

The blonde stiffened and stopped immediately. In a matter of seconds, she had lost all the composure she had managed to keep the whole night. The girl has just said her name, but the way she said it..it was too nostalgic to the blonde. She remembered she used to shiver, and her heart used to unintentionally flutter at the way the older girl said her name.

She didn’t want to be nostalgic about that.

Clarke let out a slow breath before she turned around to face the older girl.

Everyone had already left, so it was only them, standing in the cold night, looking at each other. Another wave of nostalgia hit Clarke, this time fueled by anger.

“Commander.” Clarke said tightly, not fully trusting herself to form a full sentence.

The Commander shifte her stance, and stood up straighter, if that was even possible.

“I think we should talk. If we are to work together-”

“Are you commanding me or asking?” Clarke interrupted.

The older girl faltered at the interruption, and looked at Clarke confused.

“Excuse me?”

“Are you telling me we need to talk, or are you asking me.” Clarke reiterated, in a stony tone.

The Commander clenched her jaw.

“I’m asking.” she said stiffly.

“Right, well then, I’m gonna have to decline.” Clarke said plainly, as she begin to turn around.

“Clarke.” the Commander said again, more harshly this time.

Clarke stopped and turned to face the girl once again.

“We need to be able to work together. We cannot let the past hinder us in our mission.”

The past. She brought up the past.

Clarke took a slow, steady breath before she spoke.

“I am doing what I need to do to keep the peace. If that means we have to work together, fine, whatever, I’ll deal. But I am not here to rehash the past. Whatever happened, happened, and that’s that. I’ll play my part to keep my people safe, and once this is all said and done, we can go our separate ways and never have to see eachother again. Until that happens, unnecessary conversations isn’t something I ever want to have with you Commander. Now if there’s nothing of relevance to our “mission” that you have to say, then I’ll be going.” Clarke didn’t wait to see if the other girl had anything to say before she took off in the opposite direction, trying to get as far away from her she could.

“Thank you, for letting us stay here.” Clarke said to her mother, as she closed the door to Reyna’s room.

“Of course.” the older woman said with a light smile. “Your room is right next to hers and mine is across the hall if you need me.”

“Thanks mom.” Clarke said, trying for a smile.

“Goodnight Clarke.” her mother said, pulling her in for a tight hug. When she did, Clarke’s stomach growled loudly. Clarke had just realized that it had been over 24 hours since she had eaten.

“I see someone’s hungry. The cafeteria is closed but there should be some snacks in the front room.”

Clarke nodded in thanks and wished her mother a good night. She then went to the front of the house, and there on a counter sat dried fruits and nuts. Clarke gladly went to them but stopped when she felt a sickening feeling in her stomach.

Clarke realized that she wasn’t hungry anymore as she rushed outside while the bile crept up her throat.

She made it to the nearest bush when she regurgitated the toxic and acidic waste that had been threatening to creep up her stomach for the past two days. When she thought she was done, more would come up. It was her body finally giving up on her, releasing the emotional and physical pain that Clarke had endured. Clarke barely registered the fact that she had begun to cry. That her salty tears fell to the ground and mixed with the foul smelling waste. When she had finally stopped throwing up, she didn’t move. She stayed hunched over, watching as tears repeatedly fell to the ground.

She was alive. She stayed strong, she had gotten through it, just like she always did. She thought she was okay. She thought she was okay..

But everything’s okay.

Until it isn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we see Clarke struggling in this chap. But when is she not struggling really. She’s tryna become this emotional robot and she does pretty well until she’s all alone and everything kinda boils over, because she’s been through a lot in the past few days. Emotionally and physically.
> 
> We see Lexa in this chap showing that stony, vacant, Commander that Clarke knew when she first met her. She’s putting on her Commander mask because that’s what she has to do but we’ll see in the next chapter how she’s doing internally.
> 
> Next chapter, we’ll bring some of the other characters in, and we’ll see how Clarke handles that. 
> 
> Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment.


End file.
